(Closed) Having the wedding right after having a baby?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Just found out im pregnant! what to do about the wedding??
    Just elope now before baby comes : (46 votes)
    55 %
    Wait until after the baby and have Soon after : (20 votes)
    24 %
    wait till after the baby and a While after : (17 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 18
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    I would suggest either doing a quick thing pre baby or if you want to wait then I would recommend waiting until the baby is in the 6-12 month window.  This is when I and many of my friends started to feel more comfortable with babysitters, going out, etc.  – and when more regular sleep was happening! Earlier than that and we still felt very attached to the baby and getting geared up for a wedding would seem hard. 

    In terms of your body, it is a crapshoot and hard to plan for.  By 6 months after I think I looked better than pre-baby and my friends are all over the map from thinner to heavier, same body shape to different body shape.  Just get a dress that will accomodate!  (especially the boob area, which seems to change the most)

    Post # 19
    Member
    10285 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think it can be done but I don’t know if I would personally want to. With babies comes a lot of financial responsibility and I don’t think I’d be able to justify spending a lot of money on a wedding when we just added another mouth to feed. That’s just me though. 

    One of my best friends got married when her daughter was 11 months old. This worked out perfectly for them because she was old enough to not have to be attached to her mother at all times and it gave them time to get acclimated to parenthood and figure out how much they could really afford to spend without having to sacrifice their daughters needs. With a 3 month old, I worry you won’t really be able to enjoy yourself if you’re toting around an infant all day. Sure, you can pass the baby off but if you’re BFing, you’re still going to have to figure out feedings and what not which I imagine could be tough when you’re the bride. 

    I’m sure I sound like a Debbie Downer but that’s just my opinion. If I was in your shoes, I would either have a small, inexpensive wedding with just my closest family and friends in August, put off the whole thing until the following summer or get married before he/she arrives. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I am due in February, and I pushed my wedding back to July or August. I think that pushing it back a couple of months would be good, so you have time to heal and get in to shape without hurting yourself.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    I had a friend who had a baby and a wedding int eh same year. They first wanted to start a family and had no interest in planning a wedding but assumed they would do the wedding when baby is 1-2 years old. Then his parents put some pressure on the m to get married sooner and they found a church and reception venue that could do a date they were happy with. I want to say their daughter was 4-5 months but I don’t exactly remember when the wedding was. She was BFing and specifically bought a strapless dress to make that posisble. Ultimately, I thought she was insane to plan a wedding with a newborn but it turned out to be perfect timing. First all of her family was happy to spend time with Dear Daughter and second Dear Daughter slept most of the reception in a side room to the venue. She set up a baby monitor and checked on Dear Daughter every so often but the party went until 4am and Dear Daughter quietly slept. They then went on a small family honeymoon. Bride and groom were both finishing up grad school at the time. This was 5 years ago and they now have a second child and a happy 5 year old who was in all of their wedding photos (including her made them happy).

    I just wanted to share this success story for some encouragement. You just need to be flexible on the amount of time you may/may not have to DIY and plan small details.

    Post # 22
    Member
    3586 posts
    Sugar bee

    Coming from a mama…

    I have a 2 month old. At your wedding date, your baby would be about 3 months. I think it’s possible. I would be confident leaving my baby with my mom as we went on a honeymoon, but not for too long, like a couple of days only b/c I’d miss her.LOL.

    I think the thing more likely to happen, would be you wouldn’t want to spend a lot on a wedding because you’ll have the baby and want to spend your money on her/him, not something like a wedding. At least, this is how I feel now.LOL

    as far as body shape, I lost all the weight in a few weeks, but my belly is shaped differently, of course. i didn’t exercise. I think how a woman gains/loses is dependent of heredity too. I’m plus size and people expected me to blow up. Nope, just a basketball belly to much of the wailing and nashing of teeth.LOL

    Hope that helps!

     

     

    Post # 23
    Member
    927 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just continue with your wedding plans. Then you’re not rushing to get it organized, and you won’t have to be in wedding planning mode forever. I wouldn’t worry too much about your body after baby. People will understand and your priorities will have shifted. Just my opinion 🙂

    Post # 24
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    I got married when I was seven and a half months pregnant. I think for us it was the right choice. I hate saying this on a wedding board, but once the baby came, the wedding details seems so insignifgant. The first year is filled with so many exciting milestones, that for me, dj’s and flowers pale in comparision in importance level. 

    I understand that we all have a vision of how our wedding day will go and what we will look like. I still get a slight sadness that I didn’t get that vision, but we decided we wanted to celebrate us becoming a family and we had a blast. Not to mention we got some pretty addorable picutures of my husband and I saying our vows while holding our hands on my big ol’ belly.  My vote would not be to elope, but to paire back to what you think you’re comfertable with in terms of money and energy and celebrate all the exciting things going on.

    Post # 25
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: November 2012

     I have my baby 6 months before the wedding. It was an amazing experience. Because I already had my dress and down payment I had to go through with it. I watched my weight and ate lightly and my dress was too big in areas after I had the baby. luckily it was a corsette so i just tightened it as much as i can. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I know a few couples who got married when their babies was 3-4 months and it worked out well for them. I personally wouldn’t, mainly because I’m so tired and need to go to bed at 8:30 if I want to be somewhat alert the next day… Plus, breastfeeding my child in the wedding dress, not so easy! 🙂

    But there’s never a perfect time for anything and your wedding was already pushed back… It depends if you want to be married or if the wedding is also important to you (I’m not saying that if the wedding is important it means that you care more about it than the marriage). I’d elope right away if it were me.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    beccanmatt08 :  Hi there, I know its been several years since this post was written but I was wondering how everything turned out with your wedding following so quickly after a baby? I ask because, my fiance and I got engaged in February of this year (2017) and decided on a date of March 2018. Everything was running smoothly: we took engagement photos for our save the dates, we found a location, a photographer, a videographer, a DJ, we set the menu for the reception and I even found my dress and my bridesmaids dresses. I should’ve known things were going too well. 2 weeks ago I found out I am pregnant. Exciting! But the timing. Our baby (my 2nd, his 4th – we are blending families) is due around February 18th 2018 and the wedding is March 31, 2018.  Everyone is telling me this is completely crazy to try to pull off. I really do NOT want to elope, or push the wedding forward. I still want the wedding of my dreams – as much as possible with an infant needing my boob every 2-3 hours…..

    So, how did everything go with yours? Any pitfalls? As an added challenge, I’ve already bought a sheath, beaded wedding dress that arrives in September. I am planning to ask them how long it will take to alter, pray they only need 1-2 weeks and then take it back in in early March while I am on maternity leave to get sized. 

    Is all of this insane? It is starting to feel insane…..

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