(Closed) Having to pester the FH to get information

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8006 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

FI’s uncle didn’t get an STD because FI didn’t give me his address, i had asked him 10+ times.

3 days before the deadline for having our invitations addressed, I asked again.  and said if he didn’t have it to me by friday, his uncle wasn’t getting an invitation either.  i got the address in 24 hrs.


Post # 4
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ajillity81:  love this!  Smply, get it to me by this date or they don’t get an STD or invite. Without any emotion or anything just matter of fact- in the end it’s his family so if someone from his side can’t get an address you’ve done all you can do and it’s not your fault. 


Post # 6
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I asked DH for his side of the guest list but he was deployed so he delegated to his mom and sister.  They sent me the info and I ran it all by him to make sure it included everyone he (and they) wanted and to make sure his friends that his mom and sis didn’t know were on there.  He actually didn’t really care who was invited when it came to his family because they are not really tight-knit and less than 30% of his side of the guest list attended anyway (couldn’t afford to travel to the wedding).  If you are comfortable working on it with him mom since he doesn’t really care, I would go that route and then make sure he’s cool with who’s on the list.

Post # 7
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsGinkgo:  Maybe you should have a phonecall with FH and his mom to get the addresses of the family members?

Post # 9
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

@MsGinkgo:  MY FI didn’t seem to understand why I needed addresses “so early”, so he thought i was being ridiculous.

I created an account on Postable, and emailed (or sent through Facebook) everyone I needed. I also got his sisters involved. 

By the time he was ready to give me the addresses, I already had them. Laughing

I say, go around him. In a nice way. 

Post # 10
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

Haha, yeah, my family is larger too..it was literally 11 guests that were his out of 75 people that showed (wow, so that’s really 15%).  If he is going to be that stubborn about it, I would tell him that he is responsible for sending out the STDs to his side of the guest list and that you will do your side.  If they don’t get sent, that’s on him.  Let him know what the deadlines are for STDs and invitations and the reason why it is important to get them out by a certain time.  Oy, I’m getting frustrated for you!

Oh, and congrats on your wedding date!  I was married same day this year!  😀 

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