Post # 1
So.. I don’t have very many girlfriends. In fact, in the 7 years since I graduated from highschool and moved away to university I have made 2 new girlfriends (and one of them has since moved to Yemen). In highschool I had 4 close friends, we did pretty much everything together, like best friends in highschool do. but now none of us live in the same town.
My fiance has picked his good friend to be a groomsman and his cousin (they’re pretty much like brothers) to be his best man. I also have 2 flower girls and 2 ring bearers already sorted out (my nieces and nephews). My problem is I can’t choose my bridesmaids. I’d like to have the same number, so one moh and one bm. Here are my options:
My friend, K, who does live in the same town as me. She’s married to my fiance’s groomsman. She’s a sweet girl, but I still don’t know her all that well. She did take me to a bridal fair in september, and we hang out on fridays sometimes when her husband and my fiance are playing video games.
My highschool friend T, who lives a few hours (and one ferry ride) away. She got married 5 years ago (and I was her MOH). She now has a 1 year old. We don’t talk as much as we used to, and recently she told me that she actually forgot that we were engaged… She only lives about an hour from where the wedding is going to be.
My highschool friend S, who lives about 14 hours away (plus that ferry ride). I was a bridesmaid in her wedding 3 years ago. She and her husband recently bought a house. We also don’t talk very much anymore (mostly through facebook), but we’ve known eachother the longest.
So… my question to you is, since none of these girls has really expressed any direct interest in actually being in the wedding, which ones should I pick?
Post # 3
This is tough, do you have any female siblings?
If you were the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man in your friends’ weddings, I don’t think they would be surprised if you asked them to be in yours. But there is also no need is trying to include them if you don’t feel like you are close enough to want them standing up with you at your wedding.
Ultimately, just choose the people you want to be there to support you the most, regardless of who they are.
Post # 4
@ mcnetn3: thanks for your quick reply. I do have an older sister and a SIL. They are both WAY older than me (like 16 and 12 years older). I’m not sure I want to ask them to be my bridesmaids… I have asked their daughters to be flower girls though.
Post # 5
I didn’t vote, because I kind of feel like you’re picking people that you do LIKE but that you aren’t super excited about. Why not pick all three as bridesmaids and not have a “real” MOH? Or pick your top two for bms and either have just two bms or have two “moh’s.” ??
Just a suggestion
Post # 6
@AmeliaBedelia: Thanks for the suggestion. I had really hoped to have the same number. I know its not a huge deal, but we have 2 of everything else…. Its a good point that I don’t need to have either of them be a moh, that might make the decision easier
BUMP for more input.. please?
Post # 7
Well here’s my two cents. Definitely pick the girl who lives in town. It sounds like you like her well enough, you two hang out some together, and she’s already involved by having her husband as a groomsman. Even more importantly, however, I believe that she would be a great choice because she’s IN TOWN! Trust me, you will not get much help from people out of town (not that they don’t want to help, it’s just really, really hard for them) You will be grateful later to have somebody close by to help you out. She’s already taken you to a bridal fair, so it’s clear she’s interested in helping. Also, I bet you will find yourself hanging out with her more and more after you get married, because your husbands are such good friends.
Post # 8
The girl that lives in town will be the best choice to help you get things done!
Post # 9
Even though you don’t know K as well yet, it sounds like you two are developing a pretty great friendship, and going through this wedding stuff with her will probably strengthen your friendship. And honestly, if one of my friends forgot I was engaged…she likely wouldn’t be a bridesmaid because that’s pretty lame. Even though you and S don’t talk as much anymore, you have a history. So I’d lean toward her.
Post # 10
thank you everyone for your input! I think you really are helping me decide.
@ Gemstone: It actually did make me a little upset when she told me she forgot. My fiance said that I was taking it too personally, but I feel like she could have at least remembered… She does have a young daughter tho, so I cut her a bit of slack. Everything is about the baby now