(Closed) Having trouble getting excited

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

What is your budget?  

Also, don’t feel pressured to host a 200+ wedding.  It’s absolutely unreasonable for anyone to expect two recent graduates to finance that sort of shindig.  Do not get yourselves into a huge hole so that other people can be satisfied.

I think you should do the JoP and a backyard BBQ.  That sounds like a lot of fun and intimate, which I think are the best weddings.  

Post # 4
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

It seems like you’re having so much trouble enjoying the process becaues you’re letting everyone else dictate what kind of wedding YOU are having.  Do what YOU want.  Is it going to hurt someone’s feelings? Probably.  But you know what?  Who cares!  It’s YOUR wedding, and YOU are paying, so do what YOU both want!


Trying to please everyone is going to make this the most stressful process ever.


In the beginning we cared about that whole “making everyone happy,” but quickly realized that was not happening.  Tell them you are paying for this wedding, it is your wedding, you will invite who you want, it will be where you want, and it’s not up for discussion!  Stand your ground!

Post # 5
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Your idea of a small wedding sounds great! If your friends and family want a big party, they can throw one for you 🙂

Post # 6
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ok here’s some tough love. You need to put on your big girl panties and tell your families that they cannot have things their way if they aren’t going to pay for it. It sounds like you guys should elope and then just have a very casual party for these people. Invite them to a park and have a pot luck, if it’s not an official wedding you can get away with it being much more casual. You’re going to piss some people off, but you and your Fiance are a team now and you gotta do what you gotta do!

Post # 7
1032 posts
Bumble bee

@zoso90:  I felt this way too, after being engaged. My Fiance and I have to pay for our own wedding. I’m still in school, so we live off of his income… so money is tight.


We decided to move into a cheaper apartment, so we could save more money each month for the wedding.


And we set out guest list at only 40 people. But, because we’re inviting so few people, we’re able to afford catering, and flowers, and nicer things; so our little backyard wedding will look nicer. (We’re totally serving BBQ at our wedding btw, and everyone LOVES the idea!) You’re obviously going to hurt a few feelings for those you don’t invite, but considering your financial situation, those “family” members should be understanding.


It’s definitely not worth going into debt for a wedding. I know alot of people will disagree with me about that but… it’s just 1 day. It’s not like you’re buying a house, or going to school. There’s no investment. It’s literally just pissing money away for 8-10 hours, and then you’re left with bills, bills, bills.


Just invite the closest family members and friends, spend modestly, and enjoy yourselves. 


As far as the hurtful comments from your FI’s family, I’ve had that happen to me too. My Future Mother-In-Law threw a hissy fit after we got engaged… she basically pouted for a week and said that I posted a picture of my ring on FB “just to rub it in her face.” Yeah. She basically acted like a 16 year old spoiled brat. She hasn’t apologized either… i just ignore her. I hate her. I kind of hate my whole FI’s family, they’re all mean/rude and say hurtful things and then never apologize. But my Fiance is wonderful, so I just focus on him. And he focuses on me. And we’re in love. 🙂 Don’t let them ruin your spirits!

Post # 11
1032 posts
Bumble bee

@zoso90:  Nope! Everyone knows we’re kinda struggling financially right now. I’m even going as far as telling my cousins (who all have at least 2-3 kids each) that no kids are allowed, (mainly because we cant afford the extra $ on food.) It’s going to be small, simple, and pretty.  


A good way to “get the word out” is if your mom and his mom kind of tell their family members “(bride) and (groom) are having a small wedding because they cant really afford a bigger one right now” and everyone understands and spreads the word amongst themselves.

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