- 5 years ago
I cannot for the life of me make a decision about my Maid/Matron of Honor. I’ve been putting off asking the 4 ladies I’ve picked to be bridesmaids only because I can’t decide, but I’m ready to start dress shopping and want them all there. The problem is I am or was about as close with all of them, for different reasons and at different points in my life. If you were me, who would you pick?
Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 – Sorority sister, roommate, and very close friend from college. She got married last year, and I wasn’t her Maid/Matron of Honor, but 2nd in the lineup. Her other 2 gals were sisters. We’re super close and have always stayed in touch, and still have a lot of common social groups (we’re both advisors for our sorority now even). At the same time, she has a very clear soulmate, BFF and it’s not me so I often feel very left out and distant. At least this has been the case the last the last 6 months to a year. While she’s kind of the one I *want* to pick I almost feel like she’d be surprised or it would be weird because I’m not her best friend the same way this other gal is.
Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 – Also a sorority sister and close friend from college. I was her Maid/Matron of Honor two years ago. We had a ton in common but didn’t stay close- as in we don’t go out of our way to see each other. We tried to for awhile but life just got so busy. She’s been the most openly excited for me since the engagement. At the same time I don’t really like her friends anymore, or her husband for that matter, and feel like maybe we’ve grown too far apart?
Bridesmaid or Best Man #3 – Best friend from high school. We’ve got in touch, maybe do lunch 1-2 times a year. We’re both pretty clear homebodies with few close girlfriends, and pick right up where we left off. She doesn’t know any of my current friends, or friends from college, and again, we’re just not that close anymore.
Bridesmaid or Best Man #4 – Definitely the girl I spend the most time with as of the last year. She’s the wife of my best guy friend from college. They just had a baby, and as a couple my fiance and I get along with them great so we do a lot of things together. I didn’t really spend time with her until they got married in December 2013. Her husband will be in the bridal party, but not as the best man (he’s picking an old out-of-state friend from the college days). Just by the nature of how much time we spend together now, they know the most about our wedding plans and what we’re up to these days.
I’m 24 and he’s 28, so while a lot of our close friends are from college, it’s been just enough time that everyone is adjusting to their new lives and we’ve started to grow naturally apart. It’s hard to make this decision in the middle of what I feel is a transitional time in my life. We’re also expecting our first in August, and I keep thinking if someone would’ve offered to do the baby shower by now it’d make this decision so much more obvious! Can I just ask them all to be bridesmaids and decide later??