- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009
FH and I were raised very differently. I was raised very “properly” for lack of a better word. You shouldn’t be emotionally intimate with a guy, and no sex before married. FH was raised in the “do whatever you want with whomever you want.” We both have almost all female friends. Before me, the only difference between his girlfriend and his friends (almost all female) were that he had sex with his girlfriend. FH is much more free about talking about sex and lots of his female friends use him as their go-to for questions. (He is a doctor.) FH likes to go to dinner alone with females and hangs out with them occasionally in private.
FH has never cheated on anyone, and no one has ever cheated on me to my knowledge. I am confident FH would never do anything that HE thought was inappropriate, but has on a few occasions done what I thought was inappropriate. (There was a girl who I knew was interested in him, he didn’t think so, she brought up sex books and he didn’t shut the conversation down. He did tell me about it, and in a way where he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. He later admitted it was a mistake and while polite when they run into each other, he has stopped hanging out with her.)
FH is DEFINITELY a man of his word. He volunteers when he is hanging out with another woman and has never hid anything from me. He has told me things that he knew might lead to unpleasant conversations, but is 100% honest with me. He is very technologically savy and has set up our technology so that I know his exact schedule, all his phone contacts (mine were not being transferred well and he volunteered to transfer his to my phone since there is a large amount of overlap), all his financial transactions, etc. I just keep having a problem trusting him to make the right choices. This is causing a lot of fights and I would EXTREMELY appreciate any insight. Thanks!
ETA: I probably overstated the frequency of encounters in private. FH does osteopathic manipulation (techniques similar to chiropractic but more advanced) and enjoys adjusting people, and most of the private encounters are doing this, as it is hard to do in public, and I always am told beforehand. This probably happens about every 4-5 months on average.