- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I have been hesitant to post anything about this, but maybe others can give me advice or others felt the same way. First off, my Fiance and I have been together for 10 yesrs this year (we had a little break in between, we broke up for 2 years, but never really left each other alone) anyways thats beside the point. He proposed to me in August, not only did it come as a complete surprise but I was extrememly happy! Now I had always dreamed of a big wedding but now that I was going to experience it, it isn’t what I really want anymore. I told him I wanted a destination wedding, small and intimate. He instantly shot that down. He chose 8 groomsmen and said it would be a big wedding, 300+. He wants a traditional Catholic wedding. Let’s go back to the engagment. I was excited about that part and shared my excitement with friends and family. Of course some of my “friends” didn’t even say congrats (but were always asking me “when are y’all getting married”), one said “I would never have a wedding and blah blah blah, everything negative came out of her mouth! I feel all I have gotten from several friends and family is negativity. Even some of my family when they found out we were having a wedding they said it was dumb and why if we have been together for so long. (I will also say to that, we have never been married and neither of us have kids). Even going as far as saying it will just end in divorce in either a few months or years. So because of all the negativity I feel like it is taking away from the whole excitement of a wedding. My Fiance and I fight a lot about the wedding but it is mostly me picking fights intentionally because at times I don’t want it (and I will admit I can be a brat and want it only my way). I really feel like we could spend our money elsewhere, buy a house, pay bills, take an awesome trip. He says either wedding or no marriage at all. He says he has always dreamed of a big church wedding. I’m also not good with being the center of attention with big parties. Even though it was an exciting time in my life, my 3 graduations were the most stressful and dreaded days.
Okay, back to the 8 Groomsmen, this means I had to choose 8 of my closest friends (because I wasn’t about to have negative people in my wedding) I don’t have 8 close friends. I chose my mom initally as my Maid/Matron of Honor and I was going to have a cousin as my second Maid/Matron of Honor. Well my mom backed out and now it is just my cousin, but my mom said she would pay for anything and everything that a Maid/Matron of Honor needed to pay for (I am the youngest sibling and only girl). My other cousin (my MOH’s sister) tried to talk her out of it saying it would be expensive and stressful, which made me in turn not want to ask for help from anyone, which I haven’t. My Fiance and I want to do everything alone and we have so far. Anyways, so I went to try on dresses and because I didn’t want so many opinons there I only asked my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor to be there. Well my mom showed up 30 minutes late (when I called to remind her she said oh I thought you would be done by now) then my Maid/Matron of Honor showed up 3 hours late, as we were walking out the door. She didn’t seemed pleased with my dress pick either but that’s beside the point. Apparently another friend of mine didn’t like my dress pick either because she saw another one I had on my phone and asked how much it was so her and her co-workers could buy it for me. (Knowing I had my dress picked out and paid for already) I told all the BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor when the dress fitting would be, 3 weeks in advance. One of them told me yesterday (the fitting is this Sunday) that she won’t go because she says her kids have never gone away all weekend and she wants time alone with her hubby and “once I have kids I will understand” (I hate when people tell me that) anyways I get that, but she has posted on her FB that her kids are gone for the night or I know there has been a weekend somewhere. Basically what I am getting at is that I don’t ever ask for anything from anyone and the one time I do they don’t follow through. Needless to say it hurt my feelings but I hate confrontation so I didn’t tell her anything I just said that is fine.
My Fiance and I had been having issues also because I felt like he was just wanting this wedding for his family and he is a big momma’s boy. I was even almost to the point a few weeks ago to call of the wedding because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. We finally talked about my issues and worked it out and I feel like it is a little better. But at this point I don’t want to go around his family because I don’t want to talk about the wedding. I am so sick of it!! I don’t know how to change my feelings! I feel so alone at time because the only person I can turn to about it is my Fiance and my mom. No one else cares to listen to what I have to say and it has been that way since the beginning (so it isn’t one of those situations where maybe they are tired of hearing about it) It’s like if a friend asks how I am or how’s my day and I say I am upset they go on to tell me their problems and their issues. That’s fine with me, I want to help and want to be there for my friends, but why can’t they do the same for me! This is the reason why I got on this website because I am tired of all the negativity and want to make the best out of the wedding. Again at time I really don’t want it, but at the same time I feel like if I don’t I will regret it…Anyways thanks for listening! (Sorry it is so long)