Post # 46
I think you are right about him not being interested in me as a person. My last dinner with him I asked him good questions and kept the conversation flowing. Eventally I was tired of being the one leading the conversation and asked if he would like to ask any questions. He said no that he had a good enough understanding of who I was to know that he liked me. That was it he said he didn’t need to know anything more about me. That really shocked me and highlighted how much he just didn’t care to get to know me.
He was also really selfish and changed our plans mid date, then was mad at me for leaving the date a bit early (because he cleared his schedule for the night to spend time with me). I dumped him the next day. Enough was enough.
Post # 47
I agree he is very selfish and rude. On our last date we were supposed to go to an event after dinner and during dinner he tells me he doesn’t want to go. We instead watched anime with his roomates (we are all in our early 30s) and of course being bored I leave early. He did the same rude things to me on this date as the last. I realized that regardless of his awareness of it he is just plain rude to me. For whatever reason this guy wasn’t going to make me happy and his bad manners were just such a turn off. I ended things the next day.
Post # 48
OK reading your updates. Glad you dumped him but honestly with the updates and the stuff he’s done on previous dates….why did you not just say NEXT sooner? You need to learn to not give people so much leeway with poor behavior.
At the beginning of dating, everyone is on their best behavior and if you are seeing stuff that is way off so early on, you need to remember that’s them being their ‘model’ self and worse is yet to come!! When that happens just run for the hills because its not going to get better and you shouldn’t be giving them thousands of extra chances because honestly they are not ever going to suddenly get better. Its not Pride and Prejudice. You are not Elizabeth Bennet who is lacking vital information that explains context of behavior and they are never Mr Darcy who’s rude behavior is superficial and can be explained away by context of a really great plot twist and story line.
Most people are who they are and they show you their best selves straight up. If you see flaws off the bat they are not for you and it’s not going to get better with time. You’ve got to learn to trust your gut and judgment and say adiós sooner. You came here fie confirmation but you didn’t need to because your judgement was spot on in telling you something was off. Trust yourself, you know what you are doing!
Post # 49
That’s great news! I’m glad you got rid of him because that’s just selfishness. It sounds like you could have been anyone and he wouldn’t have known the difference.
Post # 50
Your updates only further support my suspicions about his issues. At the very least he sounds immature and socially clueless. Sorry it didn’t work out.
Post # 51
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
I’m happily engaged to a wonderful man now, however I have dated my fair share of men (although I never had a real relationship before my fiance) I’m mentioning this because I dated a guy just like this once. I find that he was so interested in me despite his odd behavior because he was so used to girls chasing after him and what he actually liked about me (believe it or not) is that I did NOT. He constantly gave me mixed signals and I didn’t know what to think. So maybe he’s one of those guys that likes to be chased rather than doing the chasing themselves.