My first thought is where the hell were they that they were able to do this? I mean, if I saw a couple feeling each other up like that in Starbucks I’d be a little creeped out.
Look, OP, the bottom line is you know your man better than any of us do. You know his personality and his reactions to things, you can tell if he’s being truthful better than we can. We can all give our two cents, but all that matters is what your gut is telling you.
For what it’s worth, I honestly believe that when something like this happens, one of these freak, one-time things we never expected, we know the right course of action within seconds in our own heads and hearts. I believe you already know what you need to do, although I’m not sure what it is, and you need to take some time to look deep and figure out what your gut is telling you.
If you stay, it will be a battle to get back to normal. This isn’t something you’re just going to forget about. Something similar happened with Fiance and I about a year into our relationship, and honestly, it still sometimes pops into my head, although the anger and hurt that went with it are obviously much more dulled than they were at the time. If you stay, you need to be able to trust him again. But you also need to be certain that what he’s coming home to is better than anything that’s out there in the world, which really speaks more to how you feel about yourself than anything having to do with him, so you’re going to have to figure out whether you have the confidence to do that or not. More than shaking your faith in your relationship, something like this can profoundly shake the faith you have in yourself. You need to assess and possibly rebuild that before you can really deal with the relationship.
If you don’t think you’ll ever trust him again, or if you think you’re too shaken in your confidence in yourself to ever get back to normal with him, do both of you a favor and go. That’s not to be mean, it’s just honest. It’s not worth being in a realtionship where there’s no trust.
Don’t read the text messages. They won’t tell you anything you don’t already know. And you can talk to him until the cows come home, but if you don’t figure out where your own head and heart are at, all the talking in the world isn’t going to bring you any clarity. This is a decision YOU have to make, and it has surprisingly little to do with him or anything that could possibly come out of his mouth. Make your call, stick by it, and trust yourself.