(Closed) He Asked For

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3305 posts
Sugar bee

OMG *hugs*

Post # 4
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d beat him… but only in places that wouldn’t show in pictures… 

Post # 5
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ugh that sucks. I know there’s a whole debate with whether a pre-nup is good or bad (from the post another bride posted yesterday). But seriously – a week before the wedding?!  This is something he should have brought up a long time ago.

Post # 6
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@notsurewhat2do:  i am one who actually is in favour of prenups but i find it incredibly rude to bring up only days before the wedding.  is this something that the two of you ever lightly discussed before? 

perhaps you can agree to do a post-nuptual agreement.  same thing but just after the marriage.  they really are there to protect both parties.

Post # 7
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Setting aside any personal feelings I may have about pre-nuptual agreements (I did not have one, and I brought the overwhelming majority of the assets into the marriage), I personally would never agree now to sign something I had not seen that would be presented to me later

From what you’re telling us, even your Fiance is agreeing to get married now, before the document is even created. You would be very foolish to promise him that you will sign something that you’ve never even seen.  And, once you’re married, you do not need to sign a document with which you do not agree.

Post # 8
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Umm how rude of him to bring it to you a week before when you don’t have time to properly process and discuss it and meet with lawyers.

Usually I’m not anti-prenup but in this situation I’d refuse to sign it. What a doucher!

Post # 9
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You have every right to say no.  He shouldn’t have sprung this on you four days before the wedding.  It’s also pretty pointless to have one drawn up and then signed after the wedding, because then it’s useless.  The whole point of a prenup is to protect assets before marriage.  The second you say your vows, you’re now married, and everything is joined anyways (but don’t quote me on that since I’m in no way, shape or form a lawyer!). 

Post # 10
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@notsurewhat2do:  I would DEMAND to know where this is coming from!  He should know better than springing this on you so soon before!

Yes, you can always do a post-nup.

Post # 11
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

it was horrible of him to wait until the last minute. my fiance always waits til the last minute. I would never sign a prenup personally. but i look at it from others point of views. my stepdad divorced his wife for no fault of his own and she got half of his pention. even though she makes over 100k a year and he makes a lot less, and she remarried and her new husband makes over 100k a year. Now my stepdad who worked hard for that pention will not be able to retire for a long long time, and him and my mother have less money than they should. im sure he never thought they would divorce, but look where he is now. just something to think about.

Post # 12
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’d contact a lawyer quickly, but I’m guessing any pre-nup signed now wouldn’t hold up in court since he did not give you enough time to seek legal counsel. Contact a lawyer and find that out, and talk about it with him. 

Post # 13
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not against prenups but I’m against bringing it up so late! I wouldn’t sign jack until I’ve seeked legal counsel.

Post # 14
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

There are obviously subtle differences in every state’s body of law regarding prenups.  However, given the time frame, if you were to go through with signing, you would likely have a good chance of having the prenup be deemed unenforceable down the line due to duress, not consulting counsel, lack of disclosure, etc.  

I don’t know where you are located, but in New Jersey, in order to later find that a prenup is not enforceable, the party challenging the prenup needs to prove:

a. [She] executed the agreement involuntarily; or

b. The agreement was unconscionable at the time enforcement was sought; or

c. [She], before execution of the agreement:

(1) Was not provided full and fair disclosure of the earnings, property and financial obligations of the other party;

(2) Did not voluntarily and expressly waive, in writing, any right to disclosure of the property or financial obligations of the other party beyond the disclosure provided;

(3) Did not have, or reasonably could not have had, an adequate knowledge of the property or financial obligations of the other party; or

(4) Did not consult with independent legal counsel and did not voluntarily and expressly waive, in writing, the opportunity to consult with independent legal counsel.


If he forces you to sign by threatening not to go through with the wedding, that’s probably a sign to you that there are other issues. However, if you do sign it, use the above information to try and protect yourself.  Obviously, I urge you to contact counsel, but if you don’t, make sure the provision about waiving your right to consult with counsel is not present (even if you don’t actually consult an attorney).  Furthermore, don’t agree that he has provided you with full disclosure of assets, etc. – because you do not have enough time to explore that issue.  Sorry if this is confusing, just trying to get you an answer ASAP.  

*This should not be construed as legal advice.

Post # 15
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My husband pulled the same crap with me. We’re signing a post-nup in a few days because he didn’t sort it out until a few days before the wedding and I wouldn’t sign what he printed off if the Internet without seeing a lawyer. 

Post # 16
901 posts
Busy bee

@Krises: Contact a lawyer, get their inevitable opinion that this is not enough time to hash it out, forward to Fiance.

I would be so furious, personally.

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