(Closed) He asked me if I would mind a recycled ring

posted 9 years ago in Proposals
Post # 33
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I personally have no problem with a “used” ring.  I don’t care if it came from an abused/divorced/whatever person.  I don’t believe in that karma. 

Do you have a diamonds direct near you?  If he’s cheap they have some amazing deals for way less than regular stores!  I would look online and search for a great deal. 

If it bothers you, make sure you tell him!!  Otherwise you’ll regret it and he wouldn’t have known.

Post # 34
Member
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think you’re overreacting.  One of the best things about used jewelry (say, from a pawn shop) is that you can get a ring that’s ten times bigger and more sparkly than you could for the same price from a normal jewelry store.  You can also get one of the same quality as you would from the jeweler, but you save a ton of money: money which can go toward extra things at your wedding or your future together.  I don’t believe in karma, and especially since you won’t KNOW that the ring came from a battered woman, you don’t have to worry about it.

Post # 35
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well actually, Karma does exsist to the PP., well at least in my opinion. However, objects do not carry “bad karms, or good karma” around with them. Karma is actually an internal thing we carry around with us that we get, either good, or bad, from experience. But thats a whole other topic. A used ring, is cheaper! And why not a cheap ring? A diamond is a diamond, and if you want a diamond, why must it be new. Apparently they are forever! ha

Post # 36
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Mine came from ebay. It was posted by a guy who had his fiancee dump him for another guy. Does this bother me? No. Why not? I don’t know, it just doesn’t. I could see how it could bother somebody though. I’m just thankful to have an amazing fiance and a gorgeous ring. He would not have been able to afford a ring like that had he gone to a jewelry store. He also would not have been able to propose for at least another 6-9 months. And we would not have been able to afford a wedding right away either. Engagement rings aren’t cheap, save money where you can. It’s a symbol.

 

Post # 37
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We got my rings at a pawn shop. At first when he mentioned it I was upset. I wanted a new ring even though I knew we couldn’t afford it. We went to a few different shops before we walked into the pawn shop we are regulars at. No one else had anything good at a decent price. We looked for awhile and only found 1 I kept eyeing. Since we were regulars the guys working there know us and the jewelry guy had been pestering us for months for us to get married and since he wanted us to get married so bad he took $100 off the price of the rings I wanted so we could afford it. His I found on the ground at a place with no lost and found so we kept it and are going to use it until we can get him a real one (it’s a fake but matches mine). If you need to get a used one for now and tell him you want one in a few years when you can save the money for a better ring then that’s how I would do it.

Post # 38
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

NotFroofy gave me a wedding ring she inherited from her grandmother.  She was thrilled when I was able to find a matching one on eBay UK to give her.  I don’t know that she particularly worried about the “karma,” but the one I bought was being sold after the death of the woman who had worn it throughout a long and happy marriage.

Post # 39
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Please don’t take offense (just my opinion), but I think the karma argument is distorted.  isn’t karma about how you live your own life coming back to bite you, not other people’s lives rubbing off on yours?  at least that’s my interpretation. 

With that said, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with being honest with your Fiance about what you like. I kinda wish I had been more open with mine and shown him more inspiration pics; he didn’t want to go ring shopping.  i think he felt like he was supposed to do it himself.  Don’t get me wrong I love my ring but it had to grow on me.  Now I will never replace it because of what it symbolizes and how much thought I now know he put into choosing it.

I recommend going ring shopping together or showing him pics of what you like and explaining what you like about each ring so he can get an idea of what you like.

you say you Fiance can be cheap.  is he well off and prefers to be frugal?  whether he’s financially comfortable or not, maybe you can help him research good deals on rings that you like so you’ll both be happy.

Post # 40
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This is tricky…  I know a lot of people who have rings that were worn by family members, close family friends, or that were bought off ebay or other “second-hand” retailers.  They are no more or less happy than other married couples I know.

However, when my husband and I were talking about getting engaged, he mentioned something to his father who offered him his mother’s engagement ring.  They are divorced and she gave him the ring back after the paperwork was finalized.  I told hubs to tell his dad “thanks but no thanks” because I felt really weird taking a ring/diamond that was from a marriage that had disolved. 

That’s why it’s tricky…  I’m not superstitious generally and I doubt the diamond was the reason but I did not want that.  I think it depends on what you want/think.

Post # 41
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@divergirl:

I agree. I would not a ring that came from god knows where. I believe in karma and in what goes around comes around.

Brother-In-Law offered to give us his old wedding ring (divorced from a bad marriage) to melt and use the gold in our wedding bands. I wanted NO part of that because of what their marriage was and how it ended.

Post # 42
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

if he hadn’t asked you about it being used then you wouldn’t even have noticed. also, even the diamonds at Jared were probably mined by some underpaid miner in terrible conditions – so any diamond would be bad karma

I know its a big deal but in the end a ring is a ring 

Post # 43
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Most gold you are going to buy is pretty much “recycled” at this point.  If the Boyfriend or Best Friend wouldn’t say where he got the ring, that would be a little weird- but as far as having a “used” ring or something- I wouldn’t care.  Think of a diamond and how long it takes to form- who knows what it has been through.  I don’t believe inadimate objects have “karma.”

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