(Closed) He bought the ring and was so excited! But I don't like it…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

He asked for your opinion so don’t feel too bad. Better to be homest before the proposal then hate your ring forever. If he did buy it he should be able to return it. 

Post # 3
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. It’s better to be honest now, so you don’t end up with something you dislike in the future. 

Anyway, what kind of ring do you like vs. what kind of ring did he buy?

Post # 4
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

Have you had a clear conversation with him about his budget for your ering and what you like v dislike? Have you told him your priorities with the ring, (ie diamond quality above size) since he may not be able to meet all your requirements? Does he know your metal preferences? 

I realize he is trying to keep it a secret but this is a big deal for both of you and you have to be able to talk about expectations and realities. Maybe he doesn’t need to tell you his budget, but you should absolutely make it clear to him what you expect in your ering. Not nitpick a ring he likes, but be clear about what you like and want, complete with pictures, links to websites to explain it to hiim since he is long distance, etc. I just read a post about a bee who recieved a ring she didn’t like because her husband didn’t listen to her and now a year into the marriage its still causing issues. 

My point is, be extremely clear. He can’t read your mind. If he picked out this ring and had you look at it, he probably thought you would love it. So tell him what you do love, and what is most important to you. Let him take it from there. This is a great test of communication in a relationship, so follow it through. 

Good luck, op. 

Post # 5
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Build him up a bit over the next few days an he should be ok to try again with the ring. 

Post # 6
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
vatoca1016:  you were right to tell him you don’t like it. If you are not honest with your feelings now, before your engagement, it would not bode well for your married life together. The basis of every good marriage is open and honest communication. As mrsfry2015 said, be clear on what you would like for your ring.  You are the one wearing it. He would not like you to pick out a present for him that was not to his taste, and insist he wears it every day. So it makes sense for you to have the most important vote in what your engagement ring is like. Sending you best wishes!

Post # 7
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

He did ask your opinion. ..I agree with the others that it is best to be honest about it. 

Post # 8
Member
10041 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
vatoca1016:  he asked for your opinion so don’t be upset. Maybe you could make a pinterest page just for engagement rings that you like and send him the link. That way he won’t be guessing. Goodluck and don’t worry, he will get over it. 

Post # 10
Member
10120 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Aaawww, poor guy.  But, it’s better you gave him your honest opinion & hopefully get a ring you’ll love.  I agree with the PP–this would be a good time to build him up.  Spoil him a little.  It sounds like he really put his heart into it.

Post # 11
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

Its better to tell him up front how you feel instead of ending up with a ring you don’t want to wear. You did the right thing. 

Post # 13
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
vatoca1016:  that is stunning!!!!!!  I’m not saying you are wrong for not loving it based on what YOU want but in case he does buy it at least it’s very pretty. 

Post # 15
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
vatoca1016:  I get it’s not your taste but it is an awesome ring!! It might grow on you when you actually have it on too 🙂

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