(Closed) He bought the ring and was so excited! But I don't like it…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2003

You may just put that ring on your finger and fall in love with it. It’s like when you see an outfit on a hanger in the store and it doesn’t look like much but then you put it on and it happens to look/feel amazing! 

I say give it a chance 🙂 it’s a beautiful ring and you’ll have a lot of fun picking out the wedding band YOU love, to go with it ❤️

Post # 47
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
vatoca1016:  Are you afraid its going to be an awkward proposal if he uses that ring? Or are you willing and able to love and accept the ring that he’s giving you?

Post # 48
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yuck, I dont like that he knew he had a window of opportunity to return it, and just didnt. Thats kinda messed up. Sorry bee

Post # 49
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
vatoca1016:  I know you must feel so disappointed right now, but since that is going to be your e-ring, I wanted to let you know that rings from Kay’s often look better in person than they do on the website! My original e-ring (I wear an anniversary ring on my left hand now) was from Kay’s, and it looks so fakey online. Totally not my style at all. It’s something about that “perfect” lighting and photoshoping the glare just right and having no real background. It looks so much better in person!!!

Post # 50
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thanks a lot, stupid Kay’s saleswoman. Some people will say anything for a sale. He had the chance to stop the order but was too pig headed to do so. I’m not crazy about that, honestly. I’m sorry.

Post # 52
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

You might love it after you try it on.  I used to hate halos and thought for sure I knew what I wanted but once I started trying rings on I was like, ummm well I thought I would like these, but they just didn’t look right on me.  I ended up loving the halo one I tried on and he got me that.

Post # 53
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Don’t feel bad at all, this is going to be the ring you wear for the rest of your life!!! How about sending him some links of ones you like just to help him. Or you could totally point out what you did and did not like about the ring. Best of luck 😀

Post # 54
Member
440 posts
Helper bee

Ugh, that stinks he went through with it even though you told him you didn’t like it.  That just doesn’t make any sense to me.  He asked your opinion and then just completely disregarded what you said.  :\ My mom always tells me the story of when she and my dad got their wedding bands custom made.  The bands came in and when they went to pick them up, her band wasn’t anything like what she had asked for.  She says she just turned and walked out of the store crying, and my dad took care of explaining what was wrong and getting the ring re-made.

Post # 55
Member
440 posts
Helper bee

The more I look at the ring, the more I think it’ll look a lot better with the cushion cut diamond and without the white gold two-tone business going on.  It might help if you look up other twist shank rose gold engagement rings and look at pictures of them actually on women’s hands.  I think it’ll give you a more realistic idea of what your ring will look like than the product photo.

Post # 56
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I know the ring isn’t exactly to your liking but I think it’s beautiful and different.  it’s really sweet how important it obviously was to him to have a ring on your finger that incorporated his taste too.  Lots of men jjust buy the first thing they see without any thought!

Post # 57
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee

This thread is why people need to go ring shopping together.  It’s a mutual decision and doesn’t ruin proposals (I still cried out of surprise).

However I will say I really, really like the ring from Kay.  I prefer cushion or princess cut to round – it seems like 4/5 brides get round diamonds, making them uninteresting to me.. Also, the nice thing about having a ring from a local store vs. online store is if you have any issues from cleaning to a side diamond coming out or prong loose, you can take it there easily instead of sending it through the mail!

Can you keep the diamond but switch out the setting at Kay?  Seems like you should be able to because the setting itself it’s that different/customized.  If not, you could spring for the setting yourself with smaller band – they’re not nearly as much as a diamond.

Post # 58
Member
844 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
SaraJeanQ:  Totally agree. My Fiance had it in his head that I would like a three-stone ring, even though I kept insisting that all I wanted was a princess cut solitaire. He even made me go to a few stores with him in case I was mistaken about what I thought I liked. When it was clear that all I really and truly wanted was a princess cut solitaire, that’s what he bought.

OP, I’m sorry your soon-to-be Fiance bought you a ring you told him you didn’t like, but it really is beautiful. It’s not my style at all, but it’s very lovely. I showed my Fiance the two rings you like and the one your SO bought, and his response was “well, those are basically the same.” Not all men pick up on details like that, and not all men realize that there’s a difference between just right and close enough. It truly is a lovely ring, and after the wedding planning gets underway, I have a feeling the excitement of a future with him will overshadow what you’re feeling now.

Post # 59
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
vatoca1016:  Ugh. I just wanted to comment to say that I really feel for you.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to feel here. I completely understand why you would be frustrated/disappointed that he didn’t take the option to return the ring while he had the chance. To me it feels like that sends a message that your opinion and feelings were less important than his and the convenience of having ordered a ring; however, I doubt that this is actually the thought process he went through. In my experience, men (massive generalisation here, I know) approach these things from a very different perspective and his decision making process was likely just focused on other factors (perhaps cost, practicality, decisiveness, his views on the romantic aspect of having picked the ring himself etc.). I guess my point is that I would encourage you to not attribute your own thought processes to his decision, as this could be doing both of you an injustice. 

It’s a very beautiful ring and I hope that once you see the final version that is your own, it feels like a better fit for you then it does right now. Sending you my very best wishes!

Post # 60
Member
446 posts
Helper bee

The ring will look better in person and with the changes he made (cushion & all rose gold, no two tone). The aesthetic of the ring, however, isn’t the issue. See, I really hate when men seem to use the ring as a “test”, and that’s kind of the vibe I’m getting here. It’s as if he picked something he liked, but wasn’t exactly what you wanted – then the moronic sales lady, instead of asking “has she told you what she likes?”, spits out “oh, she should like whatever you pick!”…and he just totally, totally ran with that. It doesn’t even make sense to keep such an expensive item knowing (because you asked!!!) that the intended recipient doesn’t like it. When someone is stubborn to the point of defying reason, it’s something to look further into. I’d have a frank discussion with him and just ask for some insight into his thought process. I don’t want to jump to conclusions because maybe he wanted to get you something unique (he obviously didn’t just want to surprise you bc he showed you the ring and told you about all the changes he made), but maybe he became attached to the ring after going custom and picking a diamond, and genuinely believes that you’ll love it once you see it. However, I see something a bit darker going on – like a character flaw (controlling, stubborn, selfish, inconsiderate) coming to the surface. I could be wrong, that’s just the vibe I get. I think it’s important that you find out what his reasons behind refusing to change the ring were.

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