(Closed) He broke off the engagement today…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, in my opinion. But you need to be smat about it and not overwhelm him right away I think. If I were you I think I would try to talk to him calmly when he got home and tell him that you are absolutely fine with cancelling or postponing the wedding for now, but that you’re not ready to give up on your relationship and ask him if he’s willing to work on that. And maybe ask him if he’d like a week apart or something just to get clear in his mind. 

Post # 4
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

I am so sorry. This is a heart breaking story. I would write down your thoughts and share them with him that way. It will give him a chance to proccess them. It will also help you to organize your thoughts and feelings which, I would imagine, are everywhere right now.

((hugs))

Post # 5
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@CorgiTales:  agreed. From what you describe, it sounds like he is affected by the stress of wedding planning, which doesn’t have to have anything to do with your relationship itself. Totally makes sense to postpone the wedding for a while and focus on the relationship. I think he will find he still wants to marry you, just maybe with something smaller or an elopment.

Post # 6
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First of all, I’m extremely sorry that you are dealing with this and I wish you the best.

To answer your question, I would not fight it. I would not want to spend any part of my relationship trying to convince someone to stay with me. If you were just in a fight, then, yes, I would encourage you guys to work on it. But his words and his actions are too much and I would strongly suggest trying to move forward. You will find someone that wants to be with you, who is happier to be with you than alone. 

Post # 7
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Aw hun I’m so sorry for you. While obvoiusly I can’t tell you what is best in your situation, I can tell you that everyone deserves someone who wants to be with them no matter what the circumstances. I agree that maybe taking a week apart might really put things into perspective for you both. He hasn’t really had a great view on married life, judging by how his parents act, and unfortunately the parents are what alot of people base what’s in store for THEIR marriage on. Six years is a long time to be with someone to just throw everything away, but in the long run it’s just a little blip of time. It sounds like he’s been checked out emotionally. And it sounds like he doesn’t deserve you. I wish you all the best, no matter what the outcome is. Please keep us updated.

Post # 8
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

First I’m so sorry that this is happening. I would have to agree with PPs that said that it sounds like he doesn’t really want to end things with you but that there is just too much stress right now. Maybe you just need to postpone the wedding for now and if your parents are the cause of some or a lot of the stress then maybe you need to cut them out of the wedding planning or maybe he would just prefer not to be involoved in the wedding planning. Maybe he would like the idea of a Destination Wedding, trips are relaxing, weddings are stressful. Talk it over calmly with him tell him that are are willing to do whatever he needs to fix things and have him make a list. I really hope everything works out for you.

Post # 9
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@whatnow:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  Your story sounds familiar, so I think I may remember more about his sickness than you’ve told in this post.  I know not all relationships are the same, but I had a friend whose longtime love was also diagnosed with a terrible disease.  He flipped out and broke everything off.  She didn’t fight it, continued to be supportive of him, and remained his friend.  I just attended their wedding in December and they’re happier than ever.

I agree with PPs.  Remain level headed and calm.  Don’t fight it or give him any reason to say “I knew I made the right choice.”  Keep us posted and remember we’re here for you. 

Post # 10
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t fight it…. You don’t want to force someone to love you the way you need to be loved. If I were you I would talk about it one more time, and if doesn’t seem remorseful, then leave. Don’t waste your time fighting for something the other person doesnt feel is worth it.

Post # 10
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t fight it…. You don’t want to force someone to love you the way you need to be loved. If I were you I would talk about it one more time, and if doesn’t seem remorseful, then leave. Don’t waste your time fighting for something the other person doesnt feel is worth it.

Post # 10
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t fight it…. You don’t want to force someone to love you the way you need to be loved. If I were you I would talk about it one more time, and if doesn’t seem remorseful, then leave. Don’t waste your time fighting for something the other person doesnt feel is worth it.

Post # 11
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am so sorry! You are totally allowed to be broken and upset about this. I don’t know of any person who wouldn’t be. Stay calm when dealing with him like the other PPs said. 

Post # 13
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Im so very sorry 🙁 My heart aches for you. Give him and yourself some time, and then see where it goes.

Post # 14
Member
3151 posts
Sugar bee

I like the advice so far. I agree with the concept that anything worth having is worth fighting for, but just remember not to fight with him to keep him, since that is what is driving him away. Fight by being supportive and loving and letting him know that you don’t want to throw it away. I would let him get his head on straighter and then try and talk about hte options. 

The topic ‘He broke off the engagement today…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors