(Closed) He broke the engagement unilaterally and left

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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merrymargaret :  If someone has cold feet, they don’t usually say they’re scared of their partner. Change of heart/not able to go through with it is one thing, but not actual fear of the other person.

Post # 18
Member
11389 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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RobbieAndJuliahaha :  exactly. The weird vagueness, reference to “adorable traits” she didn’t think were a problem, and his fear don’t spell: “I’m not ready.” 

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merrymargaret :  are you calling people who cold feet “victims” as a joke, like that’s on par with being a DV victim or mocking of the idea that he might be a victim? 

Post # 20
Member
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My thought is OP is not disclosing the thing that scared him because it was DV. And her partner had valid reasons to leave. 

Post # 21
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

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amomentofpeace :  Wow, that sounds pretty passive-aggressive to act like everything is fine and then suddenly up and leave. But is there something in this story you’re leaving out? Could you give us an example of the things that you thought he found adorable before but left him feeling scared? I think that would help everyone understand this situation better.

Post # 22
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Hi Bee! My ex-fiance completely blindsided me and called off our wedding. I was so shocked and hurt at first. I took a step back and started to see so many red flags. I remember people kept telling me I would be happy again and this would all pass. I am finally happy again! I have had so many people tell me how happy I seem and everything really happens for a reason. Keep your head up:) You can send me a direct message if you need anything! I know how difficult this can be. 

Post # 23
Member
16 posts
Newbee

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amomentofpeace :  I am sorry this happened to you bee, your story is very similar to my story you can read what happened in here http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ex-fiance-broke-up-without-any-solid-reason-happy-endings-after-breakups/ 

So basically what happened is the night before the fight everything was totally okay and the next day we had the fight & he claimed he was scared of me as well since i threw tantrums at him & he made it as a cultural problem. I was devestated at the beginning, i felt it was so unfair & not logical to break up with me without a solid reason, thats why i think he has been thinking about breaking off the engagement for a while & he needed the trigger. Well after getting my shit together after this heartless breakup I decided i am not going to dwell on it anymore. We broke up 1 month ago & as i am writing this post i can tell you how better i feel now. I, of course, still didnt get over it yet completely, but the heartache is gone, i dont think i still want him now because i realized he didnt love me enough to stay with me. I am back to the gym, i whitened my teeth, i am dating a new person 😀 and he seems a gentleman, i am going out everyday , shopping a lot & traveling to Turkey next week 😀 trust me bee, guys come and go. Love yourself, embrase ur time alone, the right one will come along i am sure 🙂 much much love.

Post # 24
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I can’t help but feel this is a bit trolly…it appears you are over your what was meant to be H2B in a month?! Hmmm… of course it takes everyone a different amount of time and people deal with break ups in their own way…but you’re already dating someone.

Me personally I would still be watching chick flicks whilst inhaling tubs of ice-cream. But…if it’s not a troll post I am pleased to see you have recovered from the break up so quickly.

Post # 25
Member
16 posts
Newbee

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vintagegirl13 :  Well he broke up with me unfairly & mercilessly, it was unfair of him, I treated him super nicely & i supported him in everything. I didnt deserve this from him & the first 2 weeks were really sad, i was sobbing all the time. Then i decided i need to stop this self-pity and move on. I dont deny that i have those moments during the day where i ask myself what happened to us ? i suddently have this aching feeling of being abondoned, it sucks but now i am stronger than before that is why i feel really better. And about the guy, it was a real coincidence, i met him right after the break up and i was not ready for dating but he really insisted on going out and i said why not the hell i will go out with him & surprisingly we clicked 🙂

Post # 26
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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toomuchquestions :  it was unfair of him, I treated him super nicely & i supported him in everything.

That’s not how things work though, just because you’re nice to someone doesn’t mean they have to maintain a relationship they aren’t happy in. 

Post # 27
Member
16 posts
Newbee

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abouttodoit17 :  of course, nobody should. But i thought he is happy and he never said otherwise & the way he broke up with me was heartless & the reasons that he said were very shallow & illogical. I am just saying i am moving fast forward because the way he broke up with me was unfair & I am glad he did it now not after the wedding.

Post # 28
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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toomuchquestions :  Of course you can move on as fast as you want but cultural differences are hardly shallow or illogical. 

Post # 29
Member
16 posts
Newbee

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abouttodoit17 :  Not when he meant by cultural differences that I am gay unfriendly which is not true or that I cant travel with him before marriage which is not true as well. If he meant by cultural differences like language barriers, religion, lifestyle, traditions i would be more convinced and i wouldnt call them shallow at all.

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