(Closed) He broke up with me…so why am I the one feeling guilty?!

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1109 posts
Bumble bee

Do not cancel for the reason of feeling guilty. You’re ex sounds like a manipulator. Good for you for staying healthy and strong! You deserve to be wined and dined by a new guy, you need fun in your life right now ๐Ÿ™‚ You have no reason to feel guilty and your ex needs to stay your ex.

Post # 4
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Keep the date and don’t let him make you feel guilty. If he regretted breaking up with you he should have been the one calling. It’s not on you to call him after a breakup and beg to get back together. 

Post # 5
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Do not cancel, do NOT let him make you feel guilty. Guys are SO predictable in this situation – they get cold feet and end a great relationship for whatever reason, and then sooner or later they regret the decision and then start giving out mixed signals.

You have to look out for number one in this situation. He was the one who broke up with you, who broke your heart – and you have taken all the right steps to get over him. I think you should cut off communication with him for a while, at least until you’re stronger. He doesn’t get to pick and choose when he can talk to you. In the meantime – go out to dinner! Have fun! It doesn’t have to mean anything…but a bit of friendly social interaction goes a long way to boosting one’s self esteem and overall perspective in that post-breakup period, in my experience.

Post # 6
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Your story reminded me of the above ๐Ÿ™‚ This does seem to hold true, from what I’ve heard and experienced.


You’ve some-what moved on from a man who dropped you like a hot potatoe. Please don’t feel guilty, and please don’t rush back to his arms. As a PP said, you deserve a new man to wine and dine you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ex’s always know exactly when you’ve started getting over them. It’s like some weird cosmic pheramone that goes out. What I’ve learned over the countless men that made the “I miss you” phone call. They dont miss you, they are just lonely and mostly horny. Old p**** is easier to get than new p****. SOrry to be so crude, but it’s true. 

Go on the other date. If ex wants you back, whatever you do, dont sleep with him. Let him know that if he wants to get back with you it will be 8-12 weeks of effort before he even has a chance to get sex. If he sticks around for that, maybe you have a chance. But that usually scares guys off. 

Post # 8
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MrsEsteyToBe:  Love that! And so true!!!!

Post # 9
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

When I read the title of your post, I thought, “Because he’s manipulating you.” After reading the entire post, my opinion is unchanged. Stay away from your ex and anyone else who tries to make you feel bad when THEY DUMPED YOU, go out with the nice guy, and don’t look back.

Post # 10
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Keep the date, have fun and leave ex Boyfriend or Best Friend out of conversation with new date guy.

why feel bad for your ex? Were his fingers all broken and couldn’t call during those weeks?

What was his reason for breaking up with you? Did you agree with his reasoning?

Since you are moving on and doing it gracefully, it is probably messing with his head. If you were to get back, he would prob want to break up again.  I think he needs to be ignored even more!!


Post # 12
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@hatched:  Go. On. The. Date.  HE dumped YOU. 


I dated a guy that was kind of a jerk and used to break up with me periodically and for some reason I kept coming back.  After like the 3rd time of him dumping me on a Friday morning (single again right before the weekend!), I went out with a girl friend and her Boyfriend or Best Friend that night.  While we were out, a really handsome bartender asked for my number.  I kind of looked over at my friend and mouthed “what should I do? too soon?”  She looked at the bartender and said “her number is ___-______” 


I felt guilty and my friend told me what I’m telling you “Go on the date: HE dumped YOU.” 


Somehow word got back to the guy that dumped me that I’d accepted an offer to go on a date with someone and he called me up the day of chewing me out and telling me that “OBVIOUSLY” he never meant that much to me, how slutty it looks, etc.  I just hung up.



Post # 13
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Keep the date and have a great time!

Your ex broke up with you. If he’s regretting his decision now that’s his problem not yours. Don’t talk to him and don’t think about him. Move on with your date and life!

Post # 14
9891 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@hatched:   Don’t feel guilty.  The only reason your ex called you back is because the girl he really  wants doesn’t want him.

If you let him, he’ll keep you as his “back-up plan” but keep his options open until someone “better” (in his mind) comes along.  Then he’ll coldly dump you, the same way as before.

You’re better than that.

Post # 15
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Go out on the date.

If for some reason, your ex is who you are supposed to be with, you going out on this date won’t damage those feelings. I would bet my last dollar, in fact, that it will intensify them. Whether or not you want to do anything with that later is your choice.

But don’t close off your options because of someone who didn’t consider you an option at all.

Post # 16
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@hatched:  Don’t feel guilty and don’t cancel the date.

The guy who dumped you is playing mind games. For whatever reason he was all hot and then cold, and you had to suffer. What was he doing the last 3 weeks? Did he try to find someone better and then come crawling back? That’s NOT the type of guy you want to be with, trust me. You want someone who doesn’t pull shit like this. He now wants what he can’t have, and is coming up with some BS excuses.

Of course you’d be upset now that he’s popped back up again, but he had his chance. If he contacts you again, just tell him he had his chance, and you’re not interested in being jerked around. He is now in your past.

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