(Closed) He brought home another woman last night just to spite me.

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You need to involve the police. You need a record of his behavior. Like I’ve said in previous posts, I lived this. It will only escalate. He is an abuser. Take photos of what he did. Keep his texts. Don’t respond.

Move your belongings out of the house. Don’t stay there. Consult a lawyer. 

Post # 3
Member
4065 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Who’s name is the house in? I’d get him kicked out if you can, frankly. KEEP THOSE TEXTS.

Post # 4
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

One of you needs to leave ASAP. 

Post # 5
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Damn. Well first things first I would put your valuables and heirloom things at a friends house. For sure. Anything you don’t want stolen or trashed. 

Then I would contact an attorney and see what they advise. I would also put your house on the market ASAP. Is there someone you could stay with in the mean time? He’s obviously acting out for your attention, I’m nervous for you how that will escalate. 

Ex Fiance for a reason. At least you didn’t marry him! Ugh, good riddance.

Post # 6
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

You are so much mature and together than I could ever be in that situation. (and I am an older bride!) Congrats on keeping your cool through this. 

I urge you to get out (or get him out) ASAP. This can only get worse and more dangerous (imo) 

Post # 7
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I mean this in the most helpful way possible, but it sounds like you’re encouraging him by not leaving. 

You’re asking for this behavior by staying. He knows you can’t leave yet and going all out to get your attention. I know you said your dad is allergic to dogs so you can’t move in with him, but is there a friend or other family member that can care for your dog for the time being?

Girlfriend, GET OUT NOW.

Post # 8
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would get out if I were you. You can still pay for the mortgage without having to live there. If he’s on a breaking-stuff rampage, you should get yourself and your dog out of there ASAP. People are capable of some pretty sick behavior.

Post # 9
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

First of all, he’s playing games with you “don’t speak to my guests” and then “why aren’t you upset and jealous.” Immature for sure. He’s trying to call your bluff. He wants to see you react because he can’t believe it’s “this easy” for you to leave him.

Secondly, get your dog out of that house!!! I fear he might do something to him! Even if you have to bring the dog to your parents’ house and keep separated in a different area (dad’s allergies) for a while, you have to get him out! This man is very unstable. I’d also call the cops when he trashes the house. The cops can make him leave for the night (even if he’s half owner). My ex husband tried to pull this bullshit on me, and the cops made him leave our house. 

Post # 10
Member
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

concernedfuturewife:  the problem is that he could end up destroying the house that you are trying to sell. That could potentially cost you hundreds of dollars in repairs. I know you don’t care about your stuff but you should care about the house. Also, pack up anything you do care about and take it to a friend or family member’s house. Make sure you document all the damage he does too. Can you have your name removed from the mortgage so you can move out and just cut ties with this man? How much money did you invest in the house?

Post # 11
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

concernedfuturewife:  Like the PPs said. Lawyer. Police. Move. NOW. He is very irrational and impulsive. I’m super worried about your dog, too (major dog lover here) He’s clearly trying to hurt you and doing something with your dog would be a big one I’m guessing.

Post # 12
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Kaneohe, Hawaii

Holy!!!!!! Immaturity at its finest. Seriously, leave now! Like this very moment! I would just move out and change my cell #, block his, etc. 

Post # 13
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee

concernedfuturewife:  I’d be concerned about the dog. If he can be that pathetic and spiteful about bringing another woman to the house days after you called it quits, what else could he do?

I’d also move everything that has value to you, into a storage or your parents. Then either through text or email give him the option of buying you out and refinancing the house in his name, you buying him out, or what day would be best to meet with a realtor. I’d probably do all the work so you know it gets done. 

Post # 14
Hostess
8828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

concernedfuturewife:  I have to say, you are acting very maturely and not rising to him provoking you, and well done, I know that must have all been very upsetting.

 

BUT

 

I would be seriously worried about what he may do next. He is trying to provoke a reaction, what may he do to get it? Hurt you? Hurt your dog in some way? Ugh. I know you can’t move in with your parents but is there anywhere else you and your dog could go to. I think staying is going to piss him off and I would be worried he may hurt you.

Post # 15
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Villa in Florence, Italy

Yes you need to leave ASAP. Even if it just means staying at a friends place for a few nights. He is going to keep escalating until he provokes you into confrontation. As dumb as this sounds: I think he wants you back.

At this point I would even block his number…he needs to realise that there is nothing he can do to get your attention. 

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