- 4 years ago
My SO and I plan on getting married, and talk about the rest of our lives together. We have a fabulous relationship and get along great. We have talked about wedding and marriage in the past, and although he has said he plans on engagement next year and marriage in the next couple, he is clearly uncomfortable talking about it. I have brought it up only a couple of times to make sure we are on the same page and so that he knows exactly what I want out of this relationship… and then I’ve let it be. I think he is just not quite ready to make the jump, even though we are committed to eachother, and I also know he has watched one of his best friends have a horrible breakup after engagement and purchasing a house and so that turned him off a bit and has made him much more cautious. He’s not super open with his feelings, so I’ve just left it since I know it will happen when he’s ready.
We have been talking for the past year about our “eventual” house purchase. I’ve told him that I need to be engaged before making the biggest financial jump of my life. We left it there, and he hasn’t mentioned it, but we continue to discuss logistics of purchasing. Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve started talking a little more seriously about exactly what we want, when this will happen, and how we plan on getting there.
So late last night we took the dog out for a quick walk, and we were talking about savings etc. and when we would be ready to buy (we both have savings, but we live in the most expensive area of the country and are attemping to skip the “starter” homes like condos and townhouses and go straight to detached, which will require a massive downpayment if we want to get away with no mortgage insurance! Which is why I’ve been discussing this with him before a ring is on my hand… because I know it is at least a year away). Anyways, he was saying how he thinks we should wait a couple months longer to buy than we had initially discussed, so that we are moving at a decent time of year and have good weather for any necessary renos. Then he says that we also want the full downpayment plus some extra. I replied that it would be nice to have some money set aside for new furniture and decorating and renos. And he says, “No, something you want.” I replied, “A horse!?” (something we’ve also talked about in the future… I used to ride competitively and sold my horse when I moved abroad and was starting my career). He says, “No, something smaller. That fits on your hand.”
I left it at that… but I think he is finally feeling more comfortable with it. Fingers crossed… I would be so happy if it happened before the end of next summer when his parents come to visit. They’ve been hoping it would happen for the past while and would be so happy to celebrate with us. 🙂