(Closed) He called her “the wife.” Offensive?

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Darling Husband calls me “the wife”. I doesn’t honestly bother me. I think the guys reasoning is legit, too.

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I like hearing Darling Husband say “my wife.” If anyone snapped at him for saying it, I’d probably jump in and tell the person to STFU and mind their own business.

Post # 5
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not even married yet, and my fiance uses the term, “the wife” alot.

Like, “Ohhh well, I’ll have to run it by the wife, and get back to you.”

It doesn’t bother me at all, I know it is his way of being sweet actually. I know it sounds ridic, but it’s true.

Post # 6
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is your friend married? 

Post # 7
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Neva: Your friend has a stick up her ass. Tell her to let it go. No one cares what she thinks. Maybe she’s jealous? I can’t see me being upset by something like that unless he was calling her “The bitch” or “The old hag” or “The ball and chain”  I can’t wait to call Mr. Tattoo my husband and you best believe I’m using it every chance I get!

Post # 8
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens

This wouldn’t bother me at all, especially considering his reason behind it. If he had responded to her by saying “I call her my wife because she is my property and I own her” then we have a different situation on our hands. Either way, I think the girl needs to mind her own business. It is between the husband and wife only.

Post # 9
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I think your friend is overreacting, and its really none of her business. I also think its odd she would even care so much to mention it to him.

Post # 10
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

 

My SO calls me “the wife” and we arent even engaged yet , I think it is cute. .. He mostly says it when people call to make plans with him or something – he will say “Let me check with the wife and I will get back to you” 

Sometimes when he says it I look down at my hand as a friendly reminder to him… 😉 

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My dad has always called my mom his “old lady” even though she is 10 months younger than him!! I’m used to it by now, but I guess some people can take it the wrong way. I also find it really weird when he calls her by her name, because he always calls her “hon” when they are together.

Hubs calls me “the wife” all the time, and it doesn’t bother me at all. We have friends where the husband does the same thing, and when they talk about us, its usually “the wife” and “your wife”. Neither of us mind.

I think if it works for the both of them, then its totally fine. And the friend who called him out should have been fine with his answer. Its not her relationship, and whether it bothers her or not shouldn’t matter

Post # 12
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think it is weird at all that he calls her that. I think it’s swee and his reasoning is super cute.  I think he put your friend in her place, to be frank. 

Post # 13
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Neva:   I definitely stand with the guy on this one too.  Under different circumstances or explanation from him – I might not.  ie The old lady  or ball and chain—  not so endearing.

Your friend that got upset seems like she may not be married? or may have some past equality or abusive issues that her feelings stem from which make perfect sense.  But as it is not her being called that and “the wife” is ok with it – live and let live.

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sometimes when Darling Husband is making plans he’ll say “I have to check with Headquarters” because he knows how much it irks me.

Post # 16
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Your friend needs to get over herself. There is nothing wrong with what he is doing and his reasoning is sweet.

 

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