He Called Me By Her Name

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I accidentally called my FI my exes name when we first started dating. It was honestly just habit and I was supeeer embarrassed. MY FI called me “mom” one time lol. It’s funny how our brains work sometimes but I would let this one slide. 

Post # 32
435 posts
Helper bee

I call my husband “honey.”

Sometimes when I’m having a conversation with my female friends, I accidentally say “honey.”

It might have been just a slip of the tongue.

Post # 33
613 posts
Busy bee

I’ve called my husband my brothers’ names pretty often, especially when they’re visiting. My mum periodically calls me by my aunt’s name. And my grandfather has a chronic problem mixing up all his children’s names (sometimes going through all 6 of them before getting it right!)

My theory is that this happens most with people whom you put in the same “category” (e.g. because of their gender or age, the nature of your relationship, or just your closeness). Exes are obviously in the same category as one’s current partner, in a very relevant sense.

Ergo this is absolutely nothing to worry about. As for the orgasm thing, I don’t understand how or why you think that’s related?

Post # 34
8 posts

This is a pretty common phenomenon called misnaming (like when a mum ends up naming all her children when calling just one). If he’s been with his ex for two years and you for one, it probably doesn’t mean he’s actively thinking of her, but that to his brain, you both belong to the same name category and it retrieved the wrong one in this instance. Just a random programming glitch.

In fact, it just means he saw/sees both of you the same way.. Now, if he called you by the name of someone who wasn’t his ex (e.g. a female friend), that would be a sign something’s up.

Further reading if you’re interested: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/the-weird-reason-dogs-really-are-a-big-part-of-the-family-a7064131.html

Post # 35
415 posts
Helper bee

I called my husband by my ex’s name once. He laughed. I felt ill. 

Post # 36
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I referred to DH by ex-H’s name to someone else once, and even though he didn’t hear it, I felt horrible. I know it would hurt my feelings if that happened to me. However, when I did it, I was NOT thinking about, in contact with, or missing my ex. It was purely a slip of the tongue and your scenario probably was too.

Post # 37
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Eh, my husband does it now and then, most recently this week (about 3 times total).  Met almost 3 years ago, married 1.5 years.  Most likely it means nothing.  My mom calls me by both my sisters’ names first before she gets to mine eventually.  Same thing.

Post # 38
1095 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t worry, bee. When my son was really little, he once called me Miss Donna (the daycare teacher) instead of Mom. That hurt, bc it made me feel like he was spending too much time there and not enough time with me…. but I didn’t have a choice about it…. so I was just sad.

That said…. it never happened again, and it wasn’t like we had to have a ‘talk’ about it. I couldn’t share that this hurt with a teeny little boy.  

Post # 39
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t know if this makes you feel better, but I’ve called my fiance my cat’s name before.  

Post # 40
272 posts
Helper bee

My FI was with his ex for 7 years, and we started dating pretty quickly after they broke up. For the first year, there were a handful of times he called me by her name. It was just habit after living with and spending everyday for 7 years with the same person. Never once did I think it was because he was thinking about her/missed her.  I would laugh and tease him every time he did it. Take a breather girl. 

Post # 41
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I don’t think it means anything. I call my current dog by my old dog’s name all the time on accident. She doesn’t mind. She doesn’t respond, but she doesn’t seem upset about it. My boss also once said “thanks babe” to me right after he called his wife and said “thanks babe” to her a bunch of times. It’s just a slip of the tongue. It doesn’t mean anything.

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