(Closed) He called off the engagement

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry!  Please try to eat something and get some rest!  I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to take care of yourself!

Post # 4
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you!

Post # 5
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so sorry. Take care of yourself and realize that this is a time that you get to be selfish and grieve. Ask friends to come over, eat with you, and listen. Talking it out helps. So does running, listing to Kelly Clarkson, and taking 2 months off of life where you don’t do anything socially that you are not up for. Feel free to use these boards to vent. We can only imagine how rough this is for you.

Post # 6
Member
9686 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so sorry for your pain, I can imagine you’re in shock right now, and an immense amount of pain.  You do need to take care of yourself, though, as best you can.  Is there someone you can talk to or be with right now?  Being alone may not be the best thing until you can make some sense of things. 

Did he say anything beyond what you posted?  Have things been different between the two of you lately or did this hit you out of the blue?  In other words, have you had any signs this might be coming, such as arguing more often lately, etc. ?

I know this is hard to hear, but try to realize that it’s better that this happened now than after the wedding, which would have been much worse.  You will get through this.  Just be very gentle on yourself right now and rest as much as you can.    ((HUGS))

Post # 7
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee

This is horrible. I am soo sorry and hope you feel better. Were you blindsided or did you “feel” this was coming?

Post # 9
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am sorry.

He is right, it is not your fault. I know this is of little comfort, but it is better you found this out now than later. You do not want to be married to someone who does not have his whole heart in it. This does not mean ANY thing is wrong with you, but not everybody is right for everybody, some relationships run their course, or who knows what else.

Sometimes it takes things getting “real” for someone to realize what they are really feeling. Sounds like this was the case for him. Maybe he did want to want to marry you, but he realized you both need much more than that to be happy together.

Take care of yourself. It is okay to grieve, but just be aware you may never have firm “answers” as there just might not be any.

Better days lay ahead, I promise, and one day you will feel grateful that this happened. Hard to imagine now, I know.

Post # 10
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I understand that this has got to be incredibly hard… unimaginable.  It will take time to see this, but if he’s really not in love with you, he did you a favor.  Why be in a loveless marriage when you can be with a man that worships the ground you walk on.  You deserve that and every bit more.  I am so sorry that this happened.  There will be a day.. some day in the future that you will be thankful for it.  In the mean time, please take care of yourself.  Hugs!!

Post # 11
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh I just want to reach out and give you a big ol hug!!! Your update made me a little teary eyed. I do not wish your experience and pain on my worst enemy. Try to surrond yourself with positive and loving people and do things that you like to do and things that make you happy. I am so sorry for what you are going through.

Post # 12
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

awww.. i am so sorry this is happening to you. The pp is right though. At least you are finding this out now rather than after 5 years of marriage and 2 kids…

Post # 14
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@vannabehr:  I am so sorry for what you’re going through.  It just sounds terrible.  Keep your head up.  I will keep you in my prayers. 

Post # 15
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry. Just remember, things will get better. Maybe he is just having a major freakout right now and will realize what he is losing??? No one knows of course, but I know I have been freaking out lately about the whole marriage idea. It has nothing to do with fi. It’s just me being freaked. I will keep you in my thoughts and if you ever need to talk you can pm me or whatever. Really sorry you are going through this.

Post # 16
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im so so so sorry.

 

Do you have parents or a really close friend nearby you can go stay with for a few days?  Being alone in the place you shared is no help at all!

 

 

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