He Called Wedding for No Reason! -Devastated and confussed Please help

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Wow. I am so sorry. Nobody deserves to be treated like this.

Post # 4
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so, so sorry you’re going through this.  All I can say is one day you’ll look back and be grateful that you found out he was capable of this now and not after you married him.  Big hugs.

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’m so sorry you have gone through this, but having been married to someone who had misgivings, I’ve got to tell you, better now than after you got married. Best of luck and lean on your friends and family. Your support system will get you through it.

Post # 6
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hi – I am very sorry you are going through this.  It sounds absolutely awful.

You may want to check with an attorney but if he doesn’t lay off about the ring, then I’d tell him you’ll sue him for your illnesses associated with the jet ski accident.  Your injuries and bills are a direct result of his negligence.

As difficult and painful as it is now, it’s better to end an engagement than a marriage.  I wish you the best of luck and hope you take comfort in knowing he showed his colors before you moved forward with other plans.

Post # 7
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am so sorry for you!.  That is just horrible and a nasty way to end things.  But honey things happen for a reason!.  it is better he did this now and not when you are married and end up getting divorce shortly after.  The pain is going to be there and will always hurt, but eventually time heals all wounds.  You will find your soul mate who will be there forever and ever and never let you hurt again.   As for the ring, tell him he has to give you time.  He cannot just demand right now.  That is hurtful and selfish.  I am wishing you the best in your new life!

Post # 8
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow.  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I would say his cousin has some sort of influence over him.  I know it’s going to be a great struggle to get through this, but you will.  (hugs) 

Post # 9
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well first off, return the ring.  This is one less mess you can avoid getting caught up in.

I’m so sorry to hear of what your now ex has done to you.  This is so heartbreaking!  It sounds like he was never fully in it after the proposal.  It must have gotten real to him, especially when his cousin was having a failing marriage.

I would normally say counseling, but I wouldn’t even bother saving this.

 

Post # 10
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so very sorry that you are having to go throught this – HUGS…

You cannot make anyone do anything they do not wish to do – all you can do is control your reaction to it..so you may have loved him uncondionally but his actions are saying something different in reply.. as hard and as painful as it is right now in the future you will look back and see that this was an immature man that disrespected you and your relationship.. is that what you want to hang on to?

Slowly you will rebuild your life and go on to be a better and stronger person – learn from this experience but do not keep questioning what YOU did wrong in this..

Start living and let him SEE what he has missed out on in life….otherwise you are allowing him still to control you and your emotions.

I would Give him the ring back, it is an item that ‘WAS’ associated with his love for you…as he has stated he no longer feels this way it is meaningless anyway…

BIG HUGS – you will get through this 🙂

Post # 11
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

So sorry to read your post, hun.  Please keep your head held high and while this is horrible right now, just be happy that you found out NOW and not later after any more heartache.  You deserve WAY better and hopefully one day you can look back and be thankful that things happened this way, even though it’s hard to understand now…*HUGS*

Post # 12
Member
2316 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

I know it’s easier to say this than to believe it but… good riddance to bad rubbish.His recent behavior is selfish and shady and, in a way, you’re lucky he showed you his true colors before the wedding.

It’ll take time to get your life back together, but you’ll be much better off without him in the long run!

Post # 13
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hugs! You don’t deserve that, you sound like such a wonderful person! It’s good you found this out now, I can’t imagine how miserable you’d be married and living with him! I hope you find someone who deserves you very soon. Prayers for your quick emotional recovery! 

Post # 14
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m SO sorry this is happening to you.

As far as the ring goes, if he gave it to you as a gift i’m pretty sure it’s yours to do as you will with it… are their laws in florida about this sort of thing? IMO if he called off the wedding, you get to keep the ring if you so choose. If he’s going to be a d*ck about it, give it back to him with the caveat that he covers all the cost of calling off the wedding. Tell him your going to sell it yourself to cover costs if he doesn’t agree. Get it in writting.

 

Again, so sorry about your situation. Some men just can’t see a good thing when they have it.

Post # 15
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

He is a huge asshole and I hope you are able to find someone sincerely wonderful who deserves you. Dont’ put up with his crap or even entertain taking him back!

Post # 16
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so sorry this happened to you. What a cruel person. It’s better that you find out how awful he can be now rather than later when you’ve made a life together.

My advice would be to rely on your family and friends back home to get you through this tough time. 

As for the car you bought together, is that under both your names? I don’t know how it works but you should consult a lawyer over this and the jet-ski accident. It seems like you are within the statute of limitations for filing a case against him for what was clearly his fault.

Lastly, he didn’t deserve you. 

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