Post # 1
I wanted to share m story with you because I am devastated, heartbroken and need some advice to get stronger.
Me and my now (ex) Fiance’ had been together for almost 5 years. We meet when we were 21 in NY thru family when I visited his cousins on a trip from my hometime FL. We fell in love at first sight and after I graduated college a year later I moved to NY after he really convinced me he would love to see our relationship get stronger. I moved away from my entire family and left my job to follow my heart.
The next couple years we had our ups and downs but mostly always good times and were one of the strongest and happiest couples out of all our friends. Ever since little I have made a wish at 11:11 and he noticed my habit. On 11-11-11 he proposed to me and had a plance fly by with a sign asking me to marry him. It was a dream come true and I honestly had no idea he was planning to do this. He even picked out the ring on his own.
We were on cloud 9 for the next couple months and planned two engagement parties one in Fl in February and one in NY in April (just 2 months ago). We also planned a destination wedding in Cabo (for December) and all of our friends and family booked their trip.
However- for the past 2 months he has been acting distant. Always going out with his friends,not giving me all the kisses and attention as usual, not wanting to communicate and talk about things for our future etc. Most importantly I hurt myself terribly in a jet ski accident because he was driving crazy and I flew off. My health insurance expired and I asked him if we can get civily married sooner and not tell anyone (because he has a great job with benefits) just in case I had to drain my bruises bc urgent care said there may be blood clots. Can you believe he said no and when he is ready we will. He has a cousin that just got married and is supposably “miserable” with his new bride. I saw a text in his phone between my ex and him saying that they both will be living together soon and laughing at us girls and saying they want to go out and not care what we think or our feelings. To make a long story short- the way they were talking about us loyal, respectful, beautiful girls that love them was “disgusting”. He also started to like girls bikini pictures on facebook and be really shady with his phone.
I decided to visit my family in FL and give him space because I wanted to try and save our relationship. In short- he called off the wedding and our 5 year relationship by text. I am still in shock his entire family cant believe he did this to me and have been calling me crying in shock. Supposably he is not talking to anyone or explaining why he did this. I have been nothing but amazing to him and loved him unconditonally and when I asked him why he did this he said he doesnt know and its not me; however, he wants engagment ring back! I am so upset and the law in NY says it doesnt matter who called off wedding ring goes back to giver. He told me he will take me to court. How is that possible, he destroyed my life, I have to move all my stuff back to FL, lost all my money for Flights, Wedding Dress, Hotels, the car we bought together, my dog and especially be emotionally damaged ( havent wanted to eat, sleep, cant stop crying) without health insurance. I lost my job because it was in NY and cant afford to live there on my own.
How can someone go from completing loving you and promising you a future to leaving you for no reason in a text?
I need help. Please
Post # 3
Wow. I am so sorry. Nobody deserves to be treated like this.
Post # 4
I am so, so sorry you’re going through this. All I can say is one day you’ll look back and be grateful that you found out he was capable of this now and not after you married him. Big hugs.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’m so sorry you have gone through this, but having been married to someone who had misgivings, I’ve got to tell you, better now than after you got married. Best of luck and lean on your friends and family. Your support system will get you through it.
Post # 6
Hi – I am very sorry you are going through this. It sounds absolutely awful.
You may want to check with an attorney but if he doesn’t lay off about the ring, then I’d tell him you’ll sue him for your illnesses associated with the jet ski accident. Your injuries and bills are a direct result of his negligence.
As difficult and painful as it is now, it’s better to end an engagement than a marriage. I wish you the best of luck and hope you take comfort in knowing he showed his colors before you moved forward with other plans.
Post # 7
I am so sorry for you!. That is just horrible and a nasty way to end things. But honey things happen for a reason!. it is better he did this now and not when you are married and end up getting divorce shortly after. The pain is going to be there and will always hurt, but eventually time heals all wounds. You will find your soul mate who will be there forever and ever and never let you hurt again. As for the ring, tell him he has to give you time. He cannot just demand right now. That is hurtful and selfish. I am wishing you the best in your new life!
Post # 8
Wow. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would say his cousin has some sort of influence over him. I know it’s going to be a great struggle to get through this, but you will. (hugs)
Post # 9
Well first off, return the ring. This is one less mess you can avoid getting caught up in.
I’m so sorry to hear of what your now ex has done to you. This is so heartbreaking! It sounds like he was never fully in it after the proposal. It must have gotten real to him, especially when his cousin was having a failing marriage.
I would normally say counseling, but I wouldn’t even bother saving this.
Post # 10
I am so very sorry that you are having to go throught this – HUGS…
You cannot make anyone do anything they do not wish to do – all you can do is control your reaction to it..so you may have loved him uncondionally but his actions are saying something different in reply.. as hard and as painful as it is right now in the future you will look back and see that this was an immature man that disrespected you and your relationship.. is that what you want to hang on to?
Slowly you will rebuild your life and go on to be a better and stronger person – learn from this experience but do not keep questioning what YOU did wrong in this..
Start living and let him SEE what he has missed out on in life….otherwise you are allowing him still to control you and your emotions.
I would Give him the ring back, it is an item that ‘WAS’ associated with his love for you…as he has stated he no longer feels this way it is meaningless anyway…
BIG HUGS – you will get through this 🙂
Post # 11
So sorry to read your post, hun. Please keep your head held high and while this is horrible right now, just be happy that you found out NOW and not later after any more heartache. You deserve WAY better and hopefully one day you can look back and be thankful that things happened this way, even though it’s hard to understand now…*HUGS*
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn
I know it’s easier to say this than to believe it but… good riddance to bad rubbish.His recent behavior is selfish and shady and, in a way, you’re lucky he showed you his true colors before the wedding.
It’ll take time to get your life back together, but you’ll be much better off without him in the long run!
Post # 13
Hugs! You don’t deserve that, you sound like such a wonderful person! It’s good you found this out now, I can’t imagine how miserable you’d be married and living with him! I hope you find someone who deserves you very soon. Prayers for your quick emotional recovery!
Post # 14
I’m SO sorry this is happening to you.
As far as the ring goes, if he gave it to you as a gift i’m pretty sure it’s yours to do as you will with it… are their laws in florida about this sort of thing? IMO if he called off the wedding, you get to keep the ring if you so choose. If he’s going to be a d*ck about it, give it back to him with the caveat that he covers all the cost of calling off the wedding. Tell him your going to sell it yourself to cover costs if he doesn’t agree. Get it in writting.
Again, so sorry about your situation. Some men just can’t see a good thing when they have it.
Post # 15
He is a huge asshole and I hope you are able to find someone sincerely wonderful who deserves you. Dont’ put up with his crap or even entertain taking him back!
Post # 16
I am so sorry this happened to you. What a cruel person. It’s better that you find out how awful he can be now rather than later when you’ve made a life together.
My advice would be to rely on your family and friends back home to get you through this tough time.
As for the car you bought together, is that under both your names? I don’t know how it works but you should consult a lawyer over this and the jet-ski accident. It seems like you are within the statute of limitations for filing a case against him for what was clearly his fault.
Lastly, he didn’t deserve you.