(Closed) HE can’t decide on a date

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who decided on the wedding date?
    You : (13 votes)
    16 %
    Your significant other : (0 votes)
    both : (57 votes)
    72 %
    other, please explain on bottom : (9 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Yikes, I think this is one of those things where you just can’t pressure him.  He must know how important getting married is to you- have you discussed the list since you gave it to him a year ago?

    I’d suggest just talking to him- find out how he feels.  If nothing else, you deserve to know where you stand.

    best of luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    340 posts
    Helper bee

    The Army is deciding ours lol. We still haven’t been able to set an exact date yet because we aren’t sure when he will be home from Afghanistan or when the Army will give them a chance to take leave. It is SO frustrating. Grrr.

    Post # 6
    Member
    908 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    um, this has been going on for a year and he doesn’t even remember that there is a list?  When did he “pop the question”?  Why didn’t you guys start planning as soon as you got engaged?  I feel like there is a little more going on here, but I could be wrong!

    Maybe you should just choose a date and ask him if that date is ok with him.  Or, start looking at venues together and see what dates they have available.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Well from my past experiences the date picked us.  Because we went and looked at venues and found the one we wanted. Then they gave us a list of dates that were open.  Then I took out the calendar and said no to any holidays and other important days to avoid.  And that’s how we got our date. 

    Maybe he just figures that since it is so far away why worry with it yet.  Guys don’t understand that you need to start booking venues/vendors a year or so in advance.  So take him to see some venues that you like and that way he can a) hear for himself that they book fast and b) so he can start to get excited about your big day too.

    Post # 11
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum

    That’s frustrating!  I’m sorry you are having to go through this.  Mr. CC and I picked our date just hours after the proposal. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Wow that is really frustrating!!  I’d say if he’s dragging his heels that much, pick a date yourself and then OK it with him after.

    The weekend after our engagement I asked him what season he wanted to get married in.  He said spring or fall.  I told him I was thinking summer or fall, so we decided on a fall wedding in October.  From there we let our choice of reception venue pick our date since there was only one left for October 2010 already!

    Post # 13
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Maybe he seems to think the day is just too far in advance to start planning for.  Did I read correctly that you are thinking a wedding date sometime in 2012?

    I know it’s frustrating but as someone had posted, please do not pressure him into making a decision right now.  Have a heart to heart talk with him.  Show him some of the venues you are considering, maybe that will get him into wedding planning mode. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    This may be one of those situations where it would be much better not to expect your Fiance to make a specific decision.  Pick a season you like best and say, “honey, what do you think about getting married in the spring?”  If he seems happy about this, then you should go look at venues.  You will probably fall in love with one, and you will pick your date by process of elimination – when is your church free, when is the venue free, when does your cousin graduate from high school.  Some venues will give discounts for off -season or off-peak date weddings (like on a Friday or Sunday) so you might want to figure this out before you pick a date. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Find the location you guys want, THEN pick one of their available dates. I mean, it’s 2009….what’s wrong with late 2010 or 2011?

    I think you’re jumping the gun, though, picking only the date. You’ll really have to go see what they have available to you. That’s what we did. We said “well, we want May or June 2009 OR fall 2009 (basically not july/august in the midwest)” and the venue we wanted (ceremony and reception) had maybe 5 dates, so we just picked one together and did the paperwork right there.

    Post # 16
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    my fi was wishy washy about the date as well. So I took out a calender and went through it with him.

    Jan-no, holiday and people can’t travel

    Feb-Absolutely no, v-day

    March–st patrick day/school conflict-no.

    April–maybebut school

    May–graduation but can afterwards–maybe.

    June/July-def too hotand too many other weddings

    Aug-school starts, too busy.

    Sept-maybe but school

    Oct–too many birthdays, our fav holiday, and school conflicts

    Nov/Dec Absolutely NOT: holidays!! work is hard to get off

    So it came down to may or sept. And we looked for a venue–and may was the date …than I wanted to get married on a Saturday evening (yeah, I know..but it’s the easiest for work schedule and travelling) And, well there is only four to pick one so we went for the last saturday in May.

    It all fell together–if he’s really can’t pick one. Say I would like to get married on this date and I can almost guarantee his reply would be “Whatever you want, baby!” It looks like he needs two choices for picking rather than a list! Remember guys don’t think like us and they want things simply and easy. They usually aren’t dreaming of their wedding since they were young. They, honestly, don’t care. So help him out and give him less choices and less time to “forget.”

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