He cheated.

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

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southernhoneybee :  For what its worth, I was a total wreck after I broke up with my ex.  Just because he cheated on me didn’t make it any easier.  If/when you have those low moments just remember that there are better things to come for you.  If he couldn’t stay faithful for 1.5 years, could you imagine what he would be capable of after 5, 10, 20??  Let that be someone else’s problem!

Post # 17
Member
976 posts
Busy bee

I could possibly get over the fact that he kissed someone. But I personally could not stand the fact that he lied to my face for six months and kept that ginormous secret. 

Post # 18
Member
2688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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southernhoneybee :  if the trust is gone the love won’t be long to follow

Post # 21
Member
332 posts
Helper bee

My now fiance confessed to kissing a girl while drunk at a bar with friends last summer. He told me about 5 days after it happened. I was obviously distraught and trust was broken for several months. But I thought that it could have been ALOT worse. He could have slept with her, gotten an STI or got her pregnant. He was very remoseful about the situation. Luckily we were in therapy already so we were able to work through it. 

If you see a future with him and the feelings are mutual, I think it is worth working through it. Hugs to you ❤

Post # 22
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

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southernhoneybee :  This just proves that your intuition was spot on. He says you were being unfair for being concerned but clearly it was completely justified. 

Post # 23
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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southernhoneybee :  nothing really to add but hugs to you. I’m sorry bee. Stick with your decision, you know best. It’ll be ok. 

Post # 24
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

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southernhoneybee :  Im sorry.. I dated a guy like that too, not long distance though, when he kissed someone else i was crushed. Never thought in a million years he’d make me feel that way. Some people would say “its just a kiss! Nothing more, blah blah blah..” but honestly, to me, I’d dump him. He waited 6 months to tell you. Yes its long distance, but thats no excuse to kiss/sleep with someone else. . I’d break up with him before I invest anymore of my time. A year and a half may seem like a long time to just break up and leave. But its better than being together for 4 years and something like that happens again… You deserve better. I thought that guy was going to be my everything, glad I knew my worth and found my current bf of 6 years!

Post # 25
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Just wanted to chime in and say I’ve read your orginal post and your follow up responses and I think you’re doing something very difficult, with a lot of strength. It’s so admirable bee. And it will get better.

Post # 26
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

 

This is not worth staying in for few reasons:

  • Long distance
  • Boyfriend not being able to push away the kisser but instead kissed back. WTF?
  • Coming ‘clean’ after 6 months is for his own benefit to clear his own conscience. If he cared about your feelings, he would have come clean right away. Same night.
  • If you excuse this then he will use drinking and doing dumb things and blame it on the drinking. Do you really want to be with someone who is so fickle that they cannot handle their alcohol and will end up kissing someone? And what if he is out of town again somewhere else? This will be on your mind all the time now, driving you crazy.

There are plenty of men who don’t kiss another woman after a few drinks.

Post # 27
Member
9941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sassy411 :  

“Yeah, where are all of these women who are always forcing themselves on helpless men?”

Right, lol. I think they must turn into those ex’s that men maintain were crazy/evil/bitches/ex from hell  etc  

Post # 28
Member
11330 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Treat his story like an iceberg.  He’ll own up to kissing.  Two thirds of the truth is under the surface.

Post # 29
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

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sassy411 :  it does happen. And that kind of mindset is part of why men often don’t report rape.

Post # 30
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

What you need to think about is if you’ll be able to trust him in the future. Or if this will always be on your mind. I’ve been in a relationship with no trust, it’s torture. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Constantly worried what he’s doing and with who, it makes you physically ill. If this is how you think you’ll always feel, even just in the back of your mind, it’s not worth it. 

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