(Closed) He cheated. I'm devastated.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Been with a cheater too and I didn’t stay. He then went on to cheat on his new girls. He was with me in our early twenties and he often went to this bar in Phuket and had girls sat on his laps and went to strip joints. I didn’t stay and ended up cheating on him with a guy I met in USA. Because I thought hey why not give him something to think about? That if it’s ok to cheat on me then how about me cheating on him too? He felt hurt and betrayed but I’ve been there so touché! I feel sorry for his new girlfriend.

Post # 32
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
ljm308 :  I mean that’s fine if you want to believe that. Statistically, though it doesn’t appear to be the case. :-/ According to research on the low end 26% of people will cheat during the duration of their marriage on the high-end studies have found it to be as high as 75%. Adultery is as old as marriage itself. Both men and women are guilty of it. Also, there are more ways to be unfaithful than sex which could skew those numbers higher or lower depending on what people consider to be cheating.  Don’t get me wrong I am not defending affairs, I am simply saying that they exist. 95%+ people say cheating is wrong, but some of those same people will cheat at some point. I believe that it is up to the individual couple to make the choice on what they do if that happens to them. I prefer to prepare myself for the worst case scenario in many aspects of my life. I look at infidelity the same way. 

Post # 33
1171 posts
Bumble bee


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j9marie :  I agree with you bee. If you can’t be faithful early on, what makes people think they will be faithful after the relationship becomes routine?

Post # 34
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Oy. Ultimately, you need to feel you can trust each other. It takes work, but only you know if you’re up for it. I have been in a somewhat related issue like yours with an ex, and for me, time didn’t heal things, instead I became very paranoid, and I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to leave, but the paranoia was too much. To be honest, to this day, I’m still paranoid about a few things, mostly because I will never know the truth. 

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