He Cheated – Should I forgive him?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Girl, he’s not even trying. You need to leave this guy yesterday.

Post # 17
Member
6 posts
Newbee

Men typically take a lot longer than women to “grow up” but there definately seems to be a pattern here. Personally this kind of behaviour is a deal breaker for me..I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 years now and a few years ago there was a shady situation. It’s difficult to regain trust after only one incident let alone multiple occurrences. Yes, you’ve invested so much of yourself and your time into this person and you’ve created a life together but if its not a happy life is it really worth it? I hope you find happiness whatever your decision.

Post # 18
Member
3852 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

A single drunken kiss in an otherwise good relationship is one thing. But it sounds like your boyfriend in general doesn’t treat you with the respect he should. My fiance and I had to be apart for months and I never felt forgotten because he always kept me in the loop and called every day unless he was literally not in phone range. It sounds like your boyfriend is still stuck in the ‘party days’ mode and you are frustrated because you’ve moved on. You may have outgrown him. Snapchatting the girl he kissed isn’t the action of a repentant man. 

Post # 19
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee

I saw this on humans of New York on Facebook today and really loved it. The part that stood out to me was “I caught my husband cheating and had to leave him”   She didn’t “stay and work it out” or make excuses for him. She didn’t blame herself. She had to leave him. So she did. Period. 

You have to leave him.

 

Post # 20
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Run.  He is a baby.  You need an older guy with his shit together who isn’t snapchatting other girls in front of your face.  This is disgusting and never going to get better.

Post # 21
Member
8770 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

pickles325 :  He’s 30. Or damn near. She doesn’t need an older guy, she needs a decent guy. My husband was 22 when we got married. I’ve never caught him texting strippers or snapchatting “friends” that he drunk kissed. 

Post # 22
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

lana0731 :  it really seems you already know the answer you seek.. be strong dear and follow your heart 

Post # 23
Member
3347 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You know the saying “fool me once”… you should go with your gut. 7 years is a lot to invest in someone you are wait for to “grow up”. You should be with someone you like they way they are now.

Post # 24
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

lana0731 :  you have your answer. This is a pattern. Only marry him and stay w him if you’re happy being with a cheater. That’s what he is. He’s shown you repeatedly. He will continue it. It also isn’t only kisses and isn’t only happening when he’s drunk and on the road (he was snapchatting a girl w you right next to him and he tried to hang out w a stripper at 4am when she’d be off work). He is still lying to you and has likely done much more than a drunken kiss. You should google chumplady – she’s got some helpful advice. I’ve been there, done that and will never put up w a cheater again.

Post # 25
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

This exact same thing happened to a friend of mine. He went off for a guy weekend with his guy friends and drunkenly kissed a girl and my friend found out only because she noticed the girl snap chatting her bf (that she had been with for 6 years). As hard as it was, she left him, and he is now dating the girl who he cheated on her with and my friend found an amazing guy only months later and they are now living together. Make the right decision and go find yourself a decen guy who will respect you. At 30 years old, how many more years do you want to waste with a guy who treats you like shit and is not even remorseful to the point of adding the girl on Snapchat that he supposedly accidentally drunk kissed… you only know about what you found out about. Who says he hasn’t done much more. 

Post # 26
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

I think you already know what you should do. You’re just asking for permission to it, and want to know that you can and that you’ll be ok. Well you CAN do this and you will be so much better off. Don’t waste another minute on this loser, it’s already been 7 years. You deserve to move on and find someone who is worthy. Respect yourself enough to walk away. I have a feeling it will be one of the best decisions you ever make in life.

Post # 27
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I know it’s so easy for all of us to say just leave. You have invested a lot of time and emotions into this relationship but you have to ask yourself “is this how I want to live my life? do I want to constantly have to question what he’s doing, who he’s talking to? Do I want to give my love to someone with so little respect and regard for my feelings and our relationship?”  I think you know the answer to those questions and what you need to do. 

Post # 28
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Leave. It does seem like a cycle. He’s not ready to commit to you. 

Post # 29
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Quite honestly, to me, considering he’s texting strippers at 4 am and making out with friends of friends in bars I’m willing to bet he’s been living like a single man for most of the time you’ve been apart. I would be surprised if these were his only indiscretions. Basically, he’s playing you for a fool. If this were me I would leave.

Post # 30
Member
6429 posts
Bee Keeper

lana0731 :  Sure you should forgive him and move on with your life.  He’s not the one for you.

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