(Closed) He did it again! (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I mean… I don’t mean to be a rain cloud, but is it possible he’s just not ready to get married?

Post # 4
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

^ agreed

Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It sounds like there’s more going on here. You two need to have a heart to heart and get on the same page. 

Post # 6
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ticklemepink:  maybe it’s because of finances?  are you guys paying yourselves?

Post # 7
Member
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Well, are all of these delays costing you both a lot of money in canceled deposits, etc? When I was planning my wedding, the second I booked any vendor, I had to provide a non-refundable deposit of up to 50 percent of the total cost (depending on the vendor) that I would have lost even if I had just changed the date. 

Post # 8
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Most men are concerned about fiancial security because it is a part of the natural male role (it is a huge responsibility and I think he is trying to protect the both of you in regards to money and stress). I don’t feel it has anything to do with his commitment to marry you. Try and find ways to communicate better about this situation and beware of assuming anything negative.

Stay calm and encouraged, Bee 🙂

P.S. My Fiance and I keep pushing our date back together by a couple months because we’re trying to make sure we’re on top of our finances. We live with our families and won’t be living together until we are married. We feel better about waiting and it really has nothing to do with “being married” because we’d get married today if we could! It’s the stress of money that can cause people to buy more time. It makes a alot of sense.

Post # 10
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ticklemepink:  what is his reasoning then for “there isn’t enough time”?  enough time for what, if not saving?  to book other vendors?

Post # 11
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Regardless of your take on things, the inability of the two of you t communicate openly and honestly about this is incredibly concerning. Marriage = communication. It’s the most important thing. You need to get him to open up to you!

Post # 13
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ticklemepink:  Do what?  You’re still 9 months out! Sister, I’m getting married in 9 weeks and my fiance hasn’t even picked out the suits, let alone commuicated his choice with his groomsmen.  One of which he hasn’t even asked to be his groomsman yet.  You are WAY ahead of the game here.  People plan weddings in a few weeks or months all the time, so I’m not sure what the rush is with your 9 months remaining.  You both still have PLENTY of time to get things take care of and have this wedding.

Post # 14
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

my friends planned their wedding between 3-5months and the weddings went really well, featured here and there locally. i’m 6 months out and haven’t even pick my own dress yet, nor the florist or dj. 

what i see (sorry to say) is that he’s not ready to be married. and the communication issue here i think is huge. 

 

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