(Closed) He did the unthinkable…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

There is no excuse for violence. None. He isn’t your everything, no one is, YOU have to protect your own self and find a safe place to process what happened and begin to heal. Please don’t go back, this is a cycle you cannot beat. 

Post # 4
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Please don’t go back. Go stay with family or a friend, or check into a hotel. Send someone to pick up your stuff, or have someone go with you while you collect the essentials. If he hit you once, he WILL do it again.

 

Post # 5
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry for you.  Are your parents nearby?  Do you have a friend you could stay with?  It’s not safe to go back.   

Post # 6
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Leave. Now.

This is the moment you will look back on in a few years and wonder Why didn’t I leave when I could?

Post # 7
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

What?!!? I don’t care if he has never insulted you or how sweet he is. He should not be putting his hands on you.

Post # 8
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Please please please leave, send someone else to go get your stuff, do NOT go yourself. He will call and apologize, try to do everything to get you back, please dont go back.

Post # 9
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

Get out. It only escalates. What he did is, in my opinion, unforgivable.

Post # 10
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

DONT GO BACK!!! There is going to be a next time, it’s certain. 

Post # 11
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@amazingsam:  You are making excuses for him. He’s shown that he is in fact violent and does have an anger problem. You need to leave. Please bring friends or family with you to pick up your stuff, and don’t look back.

Post # 12
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’ve taken a big step already by coming here. So many women would hide what happened, pretend it didn’t, justify in their heads that it was a one-time thing. You’re here, even if it’s anonymous, and you’re declaring what happened to you. That in itself is so strong and so, so, so far ahead of the curve. You know what you need to do. That you’re already talking about it shows me that you’re strong enough to leave. 

Post # 13
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You say he doesn’t have an anger problem, but immediately after saying this you describe him hitting you. I honestly think you need to reconsider your relationship. If anything, go to counseling. I cannot imagine my fiance ever hitting me.

 

I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. This angers me so much…him laying a hand on you like that is so, so wrong. 

 

Post # 14
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Please leave him and don’t go back.

Post # 15
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. He isn’t safe to be around. Don’t become a statistic.

Post # 16
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@amazingsam:  I’ve been in that same situation many years ago. I was 24 and just married for 6 weeks. We had an argument and he hit me. It happened again after a month or two and again…

 

He knew he was wrong and tried to make up, gave me some lame excuses etc etc. Don’t fall for that! A man his age should control himself, even when you say things he doesn’t want to hear. There is nothing wrong with a good verbal argument or a long discussion. It can clear up things but violence and abusive behaviour destroys emotions that never can be fixed again.

 

My marriage ended after 7 months, I went back to my parents and had a very painful divorce. It took a long time before I could trust men again. 

 

I only have one advice: DON’T GO BACK, GET YOUR STUFF AND MOVE!!!

 

 

 

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