Post # 1
I need your help bees, please. My fiancé of a year did the unthinkable last night . Now, he isn’t a violent person or controlling. Doesn’t verbally insult me or anything of that matter. Don’t know where it came from cause he is very sweet and loyal man. Doesn’t have an anger problem( am I making excuses for him?) omg never thought in many centuries I would experience this. Last night we had an argument and said a few hurtful things. he hit me!!!! I didn’t expect that from him. I didn’t fight back, I just left. This is hard due to the fact I moved from a different country to be with him ( dont know anyone here) I’m 25 and he’s my first . I’m stuck in a bad place and afraid if i go back. looking forward to your feedback. Thanks!
Post # 3
There is no excuse for violence. None. He isn’t your everything, no one is, YOU have to protect your own self and find a safe place to process what happened and begin to heal. Please don’t go back, this is a cycle you cannot beat.
Post # 4
Please don’t go back. Go stay with family or a friend, or check into a hotel. Send someone to pick up your stuff, or have someone go with you while you collect the essentials. If he hit you once, he WILL do it again.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry for you. Are your parents nearby? Do you have a friend you could stay with? It’s not safe to go back.
Post # 6
This is the moment you will look back on in a few years and wonder Why didn’t I leave when I could?
Post # 7
What?!!? I don’t care if he has never insulted you or how sweet he is. He should not be putting his hands on you.
Post # 8
Please please please leave, send someone else to go get your stuff, do NOT go yourself. He will call and apologize, try to do everything to get you back, please dont go back.
Post # 9
Get out. It only escalates. What he did is, in my opinion, unforgivable.
Post # 10
DONT GO BACK!!! There is going to be a next time, it’s certain.
Post # 11
@amazingsam: You are making excuses for him. He’s shown that he is in fact violent and does have an anger problem. You need to leave. Please bring friends or family with you to pick up your stuff, and don’t look back.
Post # 12
You’ve taken a big step already by coming here. So many women would hide what happened, pretend it didn’t, justify in their heads that it was a one-time thing. You’re here, even if it’s anonymous, and you’re declaring what happened to you. That in itself is so strong and so, so, so far ahead of the curve. You know what you need to do. That you’re already talking about it shows me that you’re strong enough to leave.
Post # 13
You say he doesn’t have an anger problem, but immediately after saying this you describe him hitting you. I honestly think you need to reconsider your relationship. If anything, go to counseling. I cannot imagine my fiance ever hitting me.
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. This angers me so much…him laying a hand on you like that is so, so wrong.
Post # 14
Please leave him and don’t go back.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. He isn’t safe to be around. Don’t become a statistic.
Post # 16
@amazingsam: I’ve been in that same situation many years ago. I was 24 and just married for 6 weeks. We had an argument and he hit me. It happened again after a month or two and again…
He knew he was wrong and tried to make up, gave me some lame excuses etc etc. Don’t fall for that! A man his age should control himself, even when you say things he doesn’t want to hear. There is nothing wrong with a good verbal argument or a long discussion. It can clear up things but violence and abusive behaviour destroys emotions that never can be fixed again.
My marriage ended after 7 months, I went back to my parents and had a very painful divorce. It took a long time before I could trust men again.
I only have one advice: DON’T GO BACK, GET YOUR STUFF AND MOVE!!!