He didn't propose and it breaks my heart

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

If you’re ready, buy a ring! It’s 2016! I purchased an engagement ring to propose to my fiance as soon as I wanted to be married. He bought mine shortly after. There’s no reason to wait for someone else to do it if you know you want to get engaged.

Post # 3
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

victoriad :  This!!!! What is stopping you from doing it? If you truly believe that he is the one, buy a ring and ask him on New Years!!!

Post # 4
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

Sit him down and talk to him. Don’t make off handed comments or passive aggressive gestures; just ask him to take a few minutes to talk to you seriously about what’s going on. You’re too old to be playing games about something as serious as marriage. 

If he can’t be open and honest with you, it may be time to start reconsidering your options. 

Post # 5
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

gardener09 :  “I asked him yesterday why he won’t and he just laughs and brushes it off.”

Have you guys discussed this before? Do you have a timeline? Does he see marriage in the future?

Post # 6
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

Maybe he’s waiting for New Year’s Eve?

Post # 7
Member
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Have you talked about it?  It is important to discuss what you are looking for out of the relationship.  If he doesn’t know you want to get engaged, how is he to know that you are looking to get married?  Being passive about it and assuming he knows what you are looking for won’t lead to what you are looking for out of this relationship.

On the other hand if you HAVE discussed marriage with him and he has consistently not proposed when he promised he would, that is an issue and if I were in your shoes I would question the relationship.

ETA: I see that you asked him about proposing and he laughed it off???  That is LOW.  That does not bode well for your relationship, sorry!

Post # 8
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Has he said he wants to marry you? If he’s avoiding the conversation by laughing it off, it’s time to ditch him and move on after 7 years together. He sounds like a jerk.

If you haven’t actually sat down together and discussed your expectations for the future, you need to do so ASAP.

Post # 9
Member
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

What do you mean he just laughs? Have you two sat down and had an honest, in-depth conversation about where this relationship is going and timelines? 

Also, forget about everyone else. They don’t matter. It isn’t a competition. Think about your relationship and why you want to marry this guy. Are you sure you want to get married to him or is it just because everyone around you seems to be doing it? 

Post # 10
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

You guys need to have a talk. 

if marriage is important to you, you need to tell him and ask him if he is going to marry you and If he says “no” or brushes it of maybe it’s a sign that you need to leave the relationship, or be okay with the fact that he might never want to marry. 

If he does then set a date that you want to be married/engaged by. And then it’s up to him. 

Post # 11
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

2ndchance :   I think it’s lovely to be optimistic but OP is setting herself up for disappointment if she keeps hinging all her hopes on the next and the next and the next holiday 🙁

Post # 12
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

gardener09 :  you need to have a serious talk with him… You dont want to be that girl thats been waiting 10+ years depressed wondering when the day will ever come… Stand tall and hold your ground when you talk to him. Your still young love dont wait till your in your 30’s to have a serious talk with him… 

Post # 13
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

Have you had a serious conversation about marriage and plans for the future? It doesn’t sound like you guys are on the same page. 

There’s nothing wrong with you bee, people are ready and think about engagement/marriage differently. Everyone has their on take on it. Have you talked to him about how you feel? 

Post # 14
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

You need to sit down and have a serious talk with him without laughter or brushing off anything. If he has no plans to propose, you have some hard decisions to make. Do you want to waste anymore time being with someone who will not commit fully to you? Do you want children? Sometimes when people are in very long term relationships and live together, they feel no need to change anything because they already pretty much have a marriage. Obviously, being married is important to you. If it isn’t to him, you need to know now before anymore time is wasted.

Post # 15
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

gardener09 :  why on earth do your parents feel they have the right to be “ticked off”? This isn’t 1700 where fathers give their daughters away for some golden coins. 

 

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