Post # 1
A lot of you know me from the pre-nup and mother in law/coworker problems… Here’s and update: we’re still together and we haven’t argued for more than a month which is the longest we’ve been without arguing. But yesterday, I took our colleague Lauren out for drinks after work to celebrate a project she’s been working hard on. I didn’t want to go but I felt like doing something nice. For those who don’t know: my fiance and I work together and Lauren is our colleague.
He joined us halfway through but didn’t want to drink and looked like he didn’t want to be there. He then kind of encouraged me to leave with him but I said I would stay to have another drink with Lauren. He didn’t look happy but left.
10mins later, he sends me a photo of grocery shopping meaning that I would have to keep the night short to go home and cook (he doesn’t cook). So I paid the bill and left to the store to buy more ingredients. It was 9pm and I thought he must be starving so I decided to make creamy sausage pasta because it’s super quick to make.
I come home after having three small glasses of wine and cut my evening short to make him food, although I didn’t agree with him that I would cook that night. He said “what did you buy” and I told him. Then he acted really strange so I went upstairs to change and wash my hands. I came down and asked what was wrong and he said “we just got back from New York and I took you to a concert and now you’re having drinks. Then you bring me nasty food and you forgot the diet coke I asked you to buy for me”.
Note: we went to New York for work reasons.
I was so furious that I shouted at him “I take YOUR employee out to reward her for her hard work and decide to make you food straight after”. Of course, I didn’t make him food so he was later kind of “sorry”. He wasn’t sorry for saying what he said and kept saying it wasn’t anything big for me to give him that reaction… he still believes that.
He completely disrespected me and he has done and said similar things before. Whenever I do confront him he doesn’t listen at all. He’ll just grovels and does nice things afterwards but never apologises for the hurtful things that he says. He would rather say “I’m sorry you feel upset” still meaning what he said is correct to him.
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
You’re going to get the same answers as you’ve got on your previous posts. Leave.
Post # 3
I’m sorry, uh, he DOESNT cook? How did he survive before he met you? Does he not know how to heat up instant meals? Does he not know how to microwave? Or put something in the oven and take it out 15 mins later? What about take away or pizza?
I would’ve laughed in his face if he sent me a picture of groceries and if that was his way of saying “come home and cook for me” he would be waiting a long time. I don’t think it’s helping your dynamic that you left what you’re doing to rush home to cook for him.
I just can’t believe a grown man can’t feed himself in some way while his partner is out?
And I don’t know what NY and concerts have to do with you being out… is he expecting to be staying in the kitchen and cook for him and clean every day? What era does he live in?
Post # 4
While you were at drinks did you ask Lauren if they are sleeping together?
Post # 5
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Please take the advice you were already given. This update is nothing new for you clearly- same shit, different day.
Post # 6
Dear OP , this is not an update or anything worthy of a new thread is it ? It’s just more of the same .
If you think this relationship is worth saving/working for ,the first thing you need to do is stop enabling his awful behaviour. For instance running home to shop and cook after being sent a picture of groceries as if you were a forgetful servant ……. Are you crazy, OP.!!!
As a pp says , this deserved a laugh in the face at best , or a ‘puzzled’ response saying , is this meant for me, I don’t understand it . Or are you telling me you are doing the grocery shopping?
“we just got back from New York and I took you to a concert and now you’re having drinks. Then you bring me nasty food and you forgot the diet coke I asked you to buy for me”.
If you continue to accept this sort of crap ( you’ve had enough treats for now, so get back to the kitchen ) it’s getting close to a sort of Masochism ….
Post # 7
He disrespects you because you allow it. He snaps his fingers and you drop what you’re doing and run to him, and if you even make him wait a little while he pouts about it. Nothing will get better until you realize this isn’t a normal, happy relationship and leave his sorry ass.
Post # 10
Your FH sounds like an entitled 12 year old. Hearing about him makes my skin crawl. What do you want from us?
Post # 11
This would all be big NOPE for me.
Post # 12
He came out for drinks with the two of you. Which means he was exactly the same distance from the grocery store that you were. Why did he not get them himself? Or, buy dinner while at the bar/restaurant you were at. Or, on the way home from there, stop to get something?
Is he a child?
Did you feel obligated to pick up groceries as an “apology” for leaving the house?
Stop making meals for him. You both bring in an income. You don’t need to fly around the neighborhood, chew up worms and vomit them into his mouth so that he can eat. Are you the same person who was convinced her Darling Husband was cheating and wanted to record sound off her phone in her bathroom to hear “sex” sounds?
I think this relationship is doing a number on your mental health and skewing your boundaries of what a partner’s role is.
Post # 13
He disrespects you because you’re allowing him to. When you decide you’ve had enough, leave.
Post # 14
Wait what? I thought you were going to record the 2 of them having sex in the bathroom? Now you’re making him some creamy sausage pasta? That’s a disappointing turn of events..
Post # 15
Fool you once, shame on him. Fool you…what…like 73 more times? Shame on you.
So it was shit. It’s still shit. The answers will be the same.
You want to live a life where the best you’ll ever get is “not fighting for a month”. So, this is what you get when you settle for that life.