(Closed) He doesn’t care about getting married, just wants to make babies.

posted 9 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you TTC before getting married?

    Yep, I would/ I already did this

    I would really consider it/I may have considered it before we got married

    I doubt it, but there's a tiny chance depending on the circumstances

    Never (tell me why!)

    Other

  • Post # 3
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    no. i would not be on board. As delicatly as I can say this…if you are ok with having a baby with him and not being married, that’s very ok. Many women make thihs choice and are fab moms. It is your own perogative. And i trust youve put thought into it. I just say make sure you are independent. Meaning. you could do this own your own if you had too. then GREAT cause he is there for you too! But please all i ask is have YOUR ducks in a row before getting preggers. And i plead with you to know I totally wouldn’t judge whatever you decide to do. I get passionate about this sort of thing cause this sounds like what my sons dad said to me, and I never in a million years thought that how it went down would have went down. go with your gut hun.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    i also want to say I know lots of good long term relationships that work out without marriage.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3342 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Hubs tried to pull this one on me before we were engaged.  I said “no.”  It just doesn’t make sense to me to choose to have kids before getting married. How can he not commit to you but say that he will commit to a family? You don’t have to have a big wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4801 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I said I would not do this.  It’s mostly because of my religious background – I just can’t get away from the feeling that it would be somehow wrong.  Also, my parents would absolutely flip and I want my first baby to be a totally positive experience.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    No offense, but your guy is being a total douche. So he loves you enough to knock you up but not enough to give you his last name. I think his attitude stinks and you obviously want to be married, or you wouldn’t even be on this board. Please do not settle for a lifetime of being referred to as his Baby Mama instead of his wife. You deserve better. You deserve to be part of a LEGALLY committed couple and to have legitimate children. You deserve security, and true, everlasting commitment with a rock steady guy who would be proud to call you his wife. Unless your guy does an about face, I don’t know that he is it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @gocubbies: Well for one thing, most insurances would not cover the mother of his child. Also, when you’re takling life insurance and other legal aspects, being married just makes all that so much easier. I’m curious as to what he disagrees with?

    Also, my cousin thought she was in a long term, life partner relationship once. They had a daughter and he left. She moved on, found another guy, a life partner- together for about 11 years, had 3 kids together. Then they split and she’s been with another guy for a year. I think relationships can work without marriage, don’t take this the wrong way. But it’s a lot easier to give up and stop trying and just walk away when that religious and/or legal commitment just isn’t there.

     

    View original reply
    @JoJo Bananas: And I agree with this.

    Post # 12
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee

    Probably going to sound like a bitch, but he can’t exactly have babies by himself… if he wants children with you, and being married is very important to you, he should take that into serious consideration. Now if you’re fine not being married, then it’s okay.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @gocubbies:you are a sweetie and sound like a smart independent woman:) If you can support yourself then it is a matter of preference. I can say from experience it isnt money that raises a child it is support. extended strong support systems. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee

    Also agree with what the other Bees are saying. Even if he doesn’t agree with marriage, it will make your lives SO MUCH EASIER if you are.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5988 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    my answer is no but i also wouldnt live with my guy before we were married either – not for religious reasons but im a all or nothing kinda gal

    i do have friends that are unmarried and parents – they are very committed but the pregnancies were also unplanned

    The topic ‘He doesn’t care about getting married, just wants to make babies.’ is closed to new replies.

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