He Doesn't Know What He Wants – WTF!?

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
6642 posts
Bee Keeper

Get out while you’ve only wasted two months on this guy who has no difficulty flirting with other women and lying to your face. Don’t sit around waiting for someone who isn’t sure if he even wants anything to do with you. Dump him and block him. 

Post # 3
Member
4065 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that at this point you need to listen to what he’s telling you. Why do you want to be with someone you have to convince? It may be his bipolar talking, but this early on I think you accept he’s clearly not in a place for the kind of relationship you want and cut your losses.

Post # 4
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

sweetdee89 :  He’s treating you like shit and you sound a bit desperate bee, walk away- he’s literally telling you he wants to be able to be with other women… have more respect for yourself. You deserve better.

Post # 5
Member
389 posts
Helper bee

2 months? Good riddance. No point letting yourself get in any deeper with this guy who’s shown that he’s not serious. 

Post # 6
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

He’s not sure what he wants? Fine. Let him dick around on his own time and figure it out, because clearly what he wants isn’t you.

Funny how all of a sudden he “doesn’t know what he wants” after you catch him emotionally cheating with an ex.

Dump

Post # 7
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

sweetdee89 :  the whole thing that people say of it shouldn’t be this hard is so true. You’re 2 months in and he’s already messing you around. And I want to be clear, do not let anyone away with screwing you over because they’re ‘not well’. You can be not well and not screw people over.

Don’t excuse this behaviour for him. 

You have been so open minded and wanted so much to learn about his condition so you could come at the relationship from the best possible place. You deserve so much more than this. There will be a guy who values your kindness and will return it to you tenfold. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

Nope, nope, NOPE. Run for the hills and find you someone who is not only excited to commit to you, but actually able to do so. Don’t let this guy keep you on his hook. He’s trash.

Post # 9
Member
6150 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

No one is worth this much effort and energy two months in. Definitely not someone who already comes with a whole lot of complicated baggage.

Cut your losses and get out before you get pulled any deeper into his messiness.

Post # 10
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

beethree :  Agree

sweetdee89 :  From what I know of you – youre a smart, kind, and compassionate girl. You deserve someone who is 100% IN with you.

When I dated and was single for 7 years I wondered if I was too picky or if I should “Settle”… but Im so glad I didnt. The right one will walk through fire for you. Dont settle for anyone who isnt 100% “Hell yes” about being with you. You deserve and will find the one who is!

Post # 11
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Two months is nothing.  Anyone can play nice and act good for 2 months.  Bail now,  please,  for your sake. 

Post # 12
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

This is way too soon to have this many doubts and problems. Dump him.

Post # 13
Member
10660 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

sweetdee89 :  

I am sorry, Bee.  You certainly don’t deserve any of this.

Please don’t call/text him anymore.  You are much too high value to be chasing the likes of that fool.

Post # 14
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

That’s a this dude problem, not a bipolar problem. Mental illness does not make you lie or do emotional cheating. He’s clearly not ready to make up his mind about anything and you deserve to be treated so much better by someone who is certain that you are worth the investment. 

Post # 15
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Bee, I’m going to be super blunt- 99 times out of 100, “I’m not sure what I want” means “I don’t want [insert whatever you want him to want- in this case, a relationship with you], but I don’t want to alienate you completely in case you can still serve some purpose for me” or “I don’t want a big dramatic reaction from you that I’ll have to deal with and feel like an asshole so I will act like I’m still somewhat invested and hope you get the hint on your own”.

 

Believe me, I am expert on being rejected :). The above comes from some very hard learned experience. Best case scenario- Guys think they’re being nice by saying something like “I don’t know what I want” because “I know I don’t want to be with you” sounds too harsh, even if it’s the truth.That’s their chicken shit attempt to let you down easily.

 

Worst case? They fully intend to string you along so they can still get something from you.

 

Either way, this relationship is over. It would be nice if he would have the balls to tell you that more directly, but make no mistake, this is what it is.

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