- 4 years ago
Please bear with me as I realize this is more than likely a “non-issue”post but I am feeling sentimental and need to vent 🙁
While talking with my SO yesterday about a friend and a guy she recently broke up with, the “how soon did they say I love you” and how “sometimes guys say it too early to get in a the girls pants..” topic came up… which led to us and when we said it.
At first he’s like “I think.. you said it first right?” to which I half jokingly responded “omg.. you don’t remember.. do you.?” and of course by his smile I could tell he was trying really hard to think about when it happened.
I told him it happened about 2-3 weeks into knowing each other. We were skyping and we would usually say “I like you..” then it went to “I really like you..” and basically ended up with him saying.. “No.. like I really really really like you..”.. to like “I love you”… and so even though it caught me off guard (he said it first) I felt so strongly for him at the time that I said shyly said it back. From then on we would say it, except about a week later I made a comment that almost made him stop because I wondered if it was too soon.. etc.. but i could tell it hurt him a little so i backtracked and we continued to say it.
So I told him the little story,and he still seemed to not clearly remember the event.. which as petty as it sounds.. hurt my feelings. Here I was holding on to our “i love you” memory and he can’t even remember it was on skype or who said it, or anything! Which got me thinking.. was it not important to him? did it not mean much?
He could tell it hurt my feelings and tried to jog his memory but didn’t work. He says, but I’m here.. and I love you!
So later I asked.. so since you don’t remember saying it.. when do you think you realized you loved me? Not a date, but somewehre along our relationship? To which he said, about 3-4 months into it, once he felt he got to know me better..
Logically it makes sense, I feel even tho we both said it alittle early (and he doesn’t remember!), the love we thought we felt is not even close to what we feel now.. it was more strong feeligns for each other.. and honestly I think I also realized I “REALLY” loved him around 2-3 months in anyway.. like in a “wow.. I really love this guy” type of way…
But i guess the reason it bugs me is becuase I am THAT sentimental person that keeps cards, and random things people give me. Someone I love could give me a rock that they say they found just for me and I would keep the damn rock.. it’s ridiculous.. in a way I don’t like this about me, I remember little details and things.. and he’s more of “in the moment” type of guy. I hold on to “Firsts”, and have vivid memories of a lot of things in my life.. he on the other hand says he barely remembers his childhood, its like a blur! I can tell he genuinely wanted to remember for me, but just couldn’t.. 🙁
He even googled on the internet “why do I have such a bad memory” just for giggles and an article said we usually remember things that have meaning to us.. which then made him look at me like “no no.. i swear it has meaning to me! I just don’t know why I don’t remember things” it was funny… adorable.. and sad..
I must also add, he has a horrible memory in general. We will be getting ready to hang out with say, one of his friends (lets call him bob) , and he will ask me “have you met bob yet?” and Ill have to be like “uh.. yeah! haha I’ve met him in like two occassions already”… so it leaves me feeling like.. here I am thinking “oh how great he is introducing me to friends, I must be special” and then he wont even remember he introduced me to them!
sigh… Hugs and lectures are all welcome.. Overall I know, big picture: we are happy, he loves me and shows me he cares in other ways… detailed picture: I am a sentimental person, and hold on to things because they mean something to me.. if he doesnt I feel sad..
So Bees, do any of you relate at all? Have silly sentimental moments where you wish youSO remembered more things? or something similar?
Edit: I guess I could add, part of what bugged me was that I put out faster than I thought I would (around 3-4 weeks in..) and I guess in a way i felt.. if he doesn’t remember he didn’t mean it and just wanted in the pants.. which he says “yes.. like every guy, I did want to do stuff but it doesn’t mean I wouldve waited longer.. and if taht’s all I wouldve wanted I wouldn’t be here.. would i?” which makes sense.. but.. sigh I need a hug haha
- This topic was modified 4 years ago by willow_1960.