(Closed) He doesn't remember saying "I love you" :(

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you’re letting this bother you WAY too much. He is right: he’s here now, that’s what matters.

I’ve been with DH 10 years and I honestly cannot remember the first time either of us said we loved one another. lol

Post # 3
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

willow_1960:  Honestly, I really doubt FI remembers the first time we said “I love you.” I only do because I was drunk and embarrassed about it the next day. It’s not a big deal, and there are so many more important moments that we both remember. Don’t worry about it.

Post # 4
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

So not a big deal. I don’t remember the exact moment FI and I said it first, either. Move on…this is not an issue.

Post # 6
964 posts
Busy bee

*Hugs*. I am a very sentimental person so I get where you’re coming from. It’s just something you’ll have to get passed though. It just sounds like he has a terrible memory in general, whether it’s meaningful or not. Even if he doesn’t remember, it doesn’t take the memories away from you. 

Post # 8
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

willow_1960:  I am a sentimental person and I cant really remember our first I love yous, not because they werent special but because we got together shortly before my grandmother passed away from a long fight with cancer…. i do remember our first kiss though… It is just one of those things, sometimes memories slip through the cracks… my dh cant remember a lot of that stuff but he keeps every card from me etc… i think you might be over thinking it on the getting laid bit though…

Post # 10
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

I’m sentimental, love DH, & I don’t remember either lol. Does it mean I don’t care? Nope. Reading this made me try to remember but I can’t it’s jumbled in there with a whole bunch of happy memories. I would hope DH wouldn’t get upset just because I have a bad memory, though I would be surprised if HE remembered. 

Post # 11
1173 posts
Bumble bee

I have a really rubbish memory (it genuinely upsets me how bad it is) and I don’t remember me or my fi saying I love you for the first time (irritatingly I remember my first boyfriend saying it though! )… However my point is it means a hell of a lot to me and I am absolutely over the moon to be marrying him and am so touched that he proposed in such a way that I have a physical momento of him proposing (just in case I forget the  words he used etc). I would not be offended or read in to it.  As long as he still loves you and shows you that he does then it doesn’t matter if he can’t remember the first time 

Post # 13
217 posts
Helper bee

willow_1960:  I think you should maybe pick and choose what you make a big deal out of, or else it’s going to be a long ass road for your SO. I don’t see the big deal in this at all… I love my SO very much, and I treasure our relationship greatly, but I can’t for the life of me remember when we first said I love you, or even when we first had sex. I didn’t even remember what our first kiss was like until he was talking about it and it jogged my memory. Some people just have a bad memory. 

Post # 14
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I don’t remember our first “I love yous” lol

Post # 15
1378 posts
Bumble bee

Men are notorious for having really crappy memory.  Don’t let his lack of memory get you down!  Men and women are wired differently, men are more focused on achievement and being able to provide for the family whereas women are super focused on relationships and connection, so sentimental things like that memory is going to be something that’s very important to you but not so much to your man.

This is a GOOD thing.  We need to be different from one another, otherwise if both of you are super mushy and sentimental who will be the logical/practical partner who can focus on being the “hunter” and providing for the family?  Men usually can compartmentalize their emotions better to be able to do things regardless of what they feel whereas women have a harder time doing anything when we feel like crap.  Let your man off the hook, this is totally not an isssue.

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