(Closed) He doesn’t want attendants…does this plan sound reasonable?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Why can’t you have attendants? There’s nothing wrong with you having bridesmaids if he doesn’t want groomsmen…

Post # 4
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

In my OCD opinion I am crazy for symmetry.  However if YOU are ok with it being unbalanced then I do see the problem.  I would suggest family to fill in gaps that you may have though if that balance is important to you.  We discussed how many Bridesmaid or Best Man we wanted prior to asking anyone.  I could not ask one friend without asking my other and I didnt want 4 Bridesmaid or Best Man.  We settles on 3 each.  instead of choosing between my friends I asked a close cousin to stand with us.   I personal would love to come early for the mehendi party however, it is asking a lot of people.  Is there a way to make it only 1 day before? 

Post # 5
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

If I was close enough to you that you would consider me as a Bridesmaid or Best Man (if you were having them), I would have no problem coming 2 days early to attend the mehendi party. I would explain your situation to the girls, that you would love to have them be a part of your wedding but have chosen to not have any attendants. Because of this you would like to share a special day with them before the wedding (the mehendi party).

Post # 6
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I agree with babyboo.. Even if you don’t want them as technical “bridesmaids,” they’re still obviously friends of yours and will probably want to be a part of your wedding regardless of what capacity it is in.

Post # 8
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think all of those ideas sound good but honestly, I would talk to my friends and see what they want to/are able to do. If it was one of my oldest friends getting married, I would definitely try to make time to attend all the events she asked me too. My best friend is of Indian descent and I can’t wait to be a part of her mehendi and all of the other events having to do with a culture that is different from my own. Let them know what is going on, tell them you want them to be a part of your special day, and decide together what will work for all of you.

Post # 9
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My best friend got married in June and didn’t have any attendants. I still did all the things I would have done if I were a bridesmaid—her hair, her nails, going shopping with her, etc. Your friends are your friends whether they’re wearing matching dresses or not. I was happy to help any way I could and I’m sure your friends will be too.

Post # 10
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What if you do the mehendi party with them, have them get similar/coordinating dresses, proceed down the aisle before you and then sit in the front row instead of standing up?

You still get bridesmaids, but it isn’t as glaringly “uneven” up front – or do you think that would still be too much for his friends?

Post # 11
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would try to find three guys in your family to stand up with him. Also, if your friends re truly friends they will understand if your Fiance picks some and not others. Just as your Fiance should understand that his friends didn’t pick him as a groomsman and that’s okay.

If that’s not the end of the semester I would guess your friends wouldn’t be able to make it early. In that case any of the options you suggest sound good – and definitely have them hang out with you the morning of the wedding since you’ll go crazy otherwise. If it’s after the semester is over I’m sure they’d love to celebrate with you a couple of days early.

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