(Closed) he doesn’t want his mom at our wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It would bother me too, as I also value family.  I would still tell him that you want to send her an invitation (tell him it is out of politness, but you’ll know it’s really because you want her to come:) so she at least feels that she is invited to the wedding.  Let him have the family dinner with a photographer. 

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you should take him up on his idea of meeting everyone on the east coast after the wedding and also getting a photographer for the occasion. I also think that you should suggest to him that you at least extend the invitation to his mom and let her make the decision whether to come or not. You can have him talk to her and let her know that if she can’t make it, it is okay, but at least the offer for her to come would be extended. Some people are just not social people and feel uncomfortable in larger groups. 80 people could be a very large group for her. Maybe you could suggest someone to pair her up with, like your parents or someone else closer to her age. Even if she doesn’t know anyone, I am sure she would love to come and she can maybe make some friends. I don’t understand why your Fiance would feel like he would have to walk on eggshells, if she comes to your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I find this very odd behavior by your fiance.  If I were his mother, I would be extremely upset if I was not invited to his wedding, whether I knew anyone who would be attending or not!  Is he just assuming she would be uncomfortable?  He is probably dead wrong. I think it would be extremely rude not to invite her. You say he hates his sisters and has no best man?  He sounds like he has issues with making and maintaining close relationships.  That would be a major red flag for me.

Post # 7
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

There must be something more going on here.  Does she turn into a vampire at midnight?  Just kidding, but I can’t imagine what the deal is.

Post # 9
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

I think you are on the right track.  Best wishes.

Post # 10
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I’m glad you cleared that up about the best man and sister issues.  That makes me feel better for you since family is so important to you.  I think you are making the right decison to invite her and let HER make the decision whether to come or not. I would hate for you to hurt her feelings unintentionally.  If there is a language barrier, I can understand a little more why your fiance is concerned for her.  Personally, I can’t imagine not attending my son’s wedding.  He could marry on the moon and I’d figure out some way to be there.

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