Post # 17
I think it’s awesome that he’d rather get a tattoo. Really, it’s the same gesture, but even more permanent. I think I would be completely fine with him doing that instead of wearing a ring if he prefers it. It is his finger – I say let him do what he wants. Now if he was saying he didn’t want anything, I think that would be a problem for me, but that’s not what he’s saying. I say let it go 🙂
Post # 18
My husband said the same thing about a ring.. but I told him he at least had to try it. The ring had already been purchased… however, he ended up losing it off of the boat anyways (he’s in the coast guard) so now it doesn’t really matter anyways.
I’m buing him a cheaper ring though, because I really just prefer he wear a ring.. to me it is only right.
Post # 19
I think you have a right to be slightly upset.
I’m not sure how I’d feel. It’s important to me that my FH wear his ring sometimes. I know he won’t wear it to work because he works with his hands and then he plays hockey and works out a lot, so he probably won’t wear it after work. So he’s probably only going to wear his when we go out or something where he’s not using his hands a lot– mainly weekends. Also, we got his ring brushed (as opposed to a high polished shine), so it’s not super shiny and it doesn’t look feminine at all– maybe if you did something simple like that with no diamonds he’d like it better?
My dad never wears his– I asked him to try it on the other day just to see and he said he hadn’t even tried it on in 25 years! He’s an electrician though, so he has a reason– he doesn’t want to get shocked!
Anyway, I think you two came up with a good compromise– similar to mine with my FH.
Post # 20
** and just a note:
After he started wearing his ring he got so used to it he said he felt “weird” without it. Then he lost it and we are just now able to afford a new one. I’m sure he could get used to it if he tried..
Post # 21
My dad doesn’t wear his ring because he’s just not a jewelry kind of guy, and I don’t think I’d be upset if J didn’t want to. He’s actually looking forward to it though, so it’s not an issue. I can see why you’d be upset though.
Post # 22
Yes, you have a right to be upset. I would be too. Although I think I’d be ok with the tattoo ring thing, I’d prefer a normal ring. It’s not THAT hard to get used to.
What is it with guys and rings? Why don’t they get it? My husband who is usually very understanding, didn’t really get it at first.
He would wear it sometimes, but then not want to wear it at work if he was doing something where it might catch on something or some days just forget to put it on.
I FINALLY got through to him when I equated it to me changing my name. I was trying to explain how it was important because it was an outward sign of the marriage and it hurt that he didn’t find it important to make sure it was always there. I told him that I always wear my ring because I find it important and I want everyone who comes into contact with me to know I’m married. I said (and no offense to those who kept their maiden names…but this argument worked for me with him because I knew that was important to him, so I went with it!) that it was similar to how I was excited to have my name changed on everything and to be known by my married name. It’s just another sign to the world that we are married. Then inspiration hit. “How do you feel about me changing to your name? Was that important to you? Do you like it that I am now legally Neva Hislastname? Yes? Why? Because it’s an outward sign that I am your wife. That is exactly how I feel about you wearing your ring. Do you want me not to use your name?”
He has NEVER not worn his ring since!
Post # 23
My husband’s ring is covering up a ring tatoo from his first marriage.
That is the only thing that is a bad idea. Not that you two will split, but if you do, the ring is pretty permanent. We had to get him a ring that pretty much covered the whole tatoo up, you can still see a peak of it.
Post # 24
Thank you all for the responses.. it actually has put some things into perspective. I’m so happy that he is willing to get a tattoo on his finger (although, @ella1978, I know how permanent it is and has the potential to be a ‘bad idea’.. but I’m counting on not!). Also, @neva.. I like your comparison to changing your last name, good call on that 😉 Thanks again!
Post # 25
Neva said EXACTLY what I was gonna post! 😀 If he does expect you to change your name then he should have to wear a ring. 😛