(Closed) He doesn't want to wear a wedding ring…

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

For me, I would like my husband to wear a ring.  I told my Fiance if we bought him a pricey ring, he needs to wear it and he chose one, so I am hoping he does.  He wanted to wear it so bad, but after five minutes just took it off.  I just hope he never takes it off and loses it. 😐

Post # 18
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Fiance wears his ring on a chain around his neck. This is partially because I ordered it a bit too big, but mostly because he doesn’t like wearing jewelry on his hands. Normally, they last a couple months and then he loses or just never puts it back on. This way, he wears it every day and knows where it’s at.

Post # 19
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My dad was in the navy for 22 years and he always wore his wedding ring. My Fiance isn’t going to the gulf or the falklands any time soon so I’d be hurt if he didn’t wear his ring. 

Post # 20
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband was adamant about not wearing a ring; I was adamant about his wearing one.  He wears it, but it still feels strange to him.  I don’t think lack of a man’s wedding band is a bad thing, but it was very important to me that my guy wear one.

Post # 21
Member
11505 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My DH never takes off his ring. I’m not sure he’s ever had it off of his finger since the wedding. I must admit that I love seeing it there and knowing he never takes it off; however, if he had an occupation where wearing his ring could be dangerous or uncomfortable or could result in damage to the ring, I think it would make sense for him to not wear it most of the time. Constantly taking it on and off, especially when away from home (i.e. while in the workplace or at the gym), could easily lead to the ring being misplaced, lost, or even stolen.

Post # 22
Member
3196 posts
Sugar bee

My hubby was unsure about whether he would want to wear one, but once he got used to it he really hates when he forgets it. 

Post # 23
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

@RiverBride13:  

I just don’t feel right about forcing him to wear it if he doesn’t want to.

 

This is a free country and he is an adult … You can’t force him to do anything. However, you can nicely let him know that this is important to you and that it is going to bother you if he doesn’t wear it.

My DH also did not want to wear a ring at first. He said he doesn’t like wearing jewelry, he didn’t want the feeling of a metal ring on his bare hand, he thought a ring would be uncomfortable, he was concerned that he would scratch it or ruin it while doing yard work or working with tools, etc. etc.

I tried to be sensitive to his feelings, but I also explained to him that it was important to me because the ring is a symbol of our commitment to each other. I told him I didn’t care if it got scratched — I would have it buffed at the jewelers. He countered that there was no need for him to wear a band because I don’t have to worry about him cheating on me. So I explained that I wasn’t worried about him cheating, but that it would bother me if other women looked at him and saw him as available, OR if they wondered what kind of marriage we have because he’s not wearing a wedding band.

After I explained it that way, he could see that this was something that was extremely important to me, and he agreed. We found a slim “comfort band” style, had it sized properly, and now he wears it at all times and never complains.

If he had resisted, I probably would have had a hard time dropping the subject. I wouldn’t have pressured him, but I probably would have whined and dropped a lot of annoying hints, LOL. If he’d had really strong feelings on the subject and absolutely, positively refused to wear a ring, I guess I would have had to make peace with that, but I’m glad I didn’t have to.

I think it’s OK to push a little bit on this subject. It’s a wedding ring, not a pair of handcuffs. Some guys act like a ring is going to get in the way or bother them or that it will be uncomfortable. I think they have been spoiled because they don’t have to wear bras or tampons like we do, LOL. Yes, it will feel different to have a ring on your finger vs. bare flesh, but that’s life. We are not nudists. We have to wear shoes and underwear and sunglasses, too.

Post # 24
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My father never wore a wedding band bc of his job. So,for me, it looks weird when men DO wear one.  I’m sure my fiance will wear his – but if he doesn’twant to – thats ok with me bc thats the norm in my book.

Post # 25
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

My dad and grandfather never wore their wedding rings.  They got them at their wedding and then promptly took them off and put them in their wife’s jewelry box.  Both of them worked with their hands for a living and wearing one could mean losing a finger.

Because of that, I guess I never really thought about married guys wearing rings.  (My dad’s family neither guys or girls wear any kind of jewelry including wedding rings for religious reasons).  So when my Fiance and I got engaged I actually asked him if he wanted a wedding ring at all.  He looked at me like I was crazy and said yes and I want an engagement ring too.

To me, I don’t think it really matters.  The rings are just symbolic.  If the person doesn’t want a ring, get them something else instead.  (That’s why I asked my Fiance if he even wanted one).  Honestly my dad’s classical guitar he got as an engagement present from my mom means way more to him than the wedding ring he wore for less than a day.  Despite not wearing a ring, my dad has never cheated and they are happily married 27 years later.

Post # 26
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Mine will wear a ring. He works with his hands a lot in his business so we delibrately chose a sturdy plain ring and he said it best be sturdy because he will never take it off for any reason. It will be worn at work, bathing, cooking, hunting, etc. I probably would not like it if he didn’t want to wear one.

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