- 1 month ago
I’m another poster who has really enjoyed your comments and perspectives on this site. Very wise and balanced. I hope you take time to acknowledge your own wisdom and validate and affirm yourself, while also taking what lessons you can out of this.
Like RayofLight said, there is nothing wrong with fighting for a relationship. If you really love someone, it is only natural in many ways. It also ensures that if things do not work out, you can move on without any regret. So please don’t spend any time feeling ashamed about this. It shows that you loved and dreamed big, and that is beautiful.
Not every relationship that doesn’t work out is a mistake – most are there to teach us important lessons and bring us to important places in our lives.
However, of course, a relationship in which you feel constant anxiety and as if you are always striving for the other person’s love is no good.
I also think you made an important point about distracting yourself with fantasy and using that to make up for the flaws in your real life relationship. In that sense, this site can be a crutch and too much time on it can be unhealthy – I think it’s important to examine your motives for spending time on here.
I think you’ve made a wonderful point as well about the perfect proposal/ring/wedding versus a true, strong, solid love. People can get caught up in the image and the story so much that they miss the wood for the trees.
My best advice always is to listen to your heart.
I’m really sorry that this has happened to you and I’m really sorry for the pain you are feeling. Do absolutely anything that you need to comfort and protect and care for yourself. (Wine, bubble baths, music, take a day off work…)