(Closed) He falls asleep on the couch every. single. night.!

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ugh that is so annoying. People sleeping in front of the tv is one of my all-time pet peeves. Fiance has a tendency to fall asleep around 9ish on the couch (even though we get up at the same time!) whereas I’d love to stay up until 11-12 every night. What I started doing was telling him it bugged me for him to sleep on the couch and if he was going to sleep he should just go to bed to do it. Now… that pretty much worked for my guy bc he doesn’t like going to bed alone… but if yours doesn’t mind it i guess it wouldnt work ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Not to say he doesn’t still drift off… but I just wake him up and make him change positions or get a glass of water to stay awake. What is it about guys?!

Post # 4
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Some people need more sleep than the traditional 8 hours.  Do you do things in the bedroom at night?  Maybe that is why he goes to sleep on the couch?

Post # 5
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ugh, I know how you feel, but my situation is slightly different.  Usually, I’ll need to go to sleep between 10:30 and 11:00 but Fiance stays up because he usually goes to work later than me during the week (his schedule is different depending on the day).  He always says he’ll come to bed in a little while but at least a quarter of the time he falls asleep on the couch,which really bothers me for some reason.  I told him it hurts my feelings and he’s been working on it but it still sucks.

Post # 6
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

My Darling Husband and I don’t like to fall asleep in different rooms than each other.  If one of us wants to go to bed early, we’ll always “put the other to sleep.”  Meaning we lay next to them until they are sleeping.  But Darling Husband can sleep FOREVER.  I can’t get more than 8 hours of sleep, I’m awake, eyes wide open at 6am.  But Darling Husband can sleep until noon if I let him.  Seriously, I’ve seen him sleep for 15 hours once, and he wasn’t sick or exhausted!  I don’t know how he does it, but I actually kind of like my alone time in the mornings.  I can catch up on my DVR shows that he doesn’t like and I can get online without worrying about “ignoring” him.

Post # 7
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If I had 10 hours of sleep every night, it would be amazing ๐Ÿ™‚ I definitely require AT LEAST 8 hours, and I usually feel my best after nine hours.

I would talk to him and see if there’s something stressing him out. Stress makes me even more sleepy. If this is a new thing, he’s probably just going through something.

Post # 8
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I sometimes take naps on the couch right before going to sleep… like an hour before.. and the hubby just plays pS3 or watches sports. Other than that I usually go to bed before him but he will come and lay down with me for a while & after he goes to watch tv a little longer then comes back to sleep at I dont even know what time because Im asleep!

Post # 10
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I need more sleep than he does, 10 hours would be good, 8 I can do but I’m not as happy of a person, less than 8 I can and have done often but argh argh unhappiness.  Stress does make me want to sleep more also.  ๐Ÿ™  Needing 8 or more hours sucks.  Sigh.

Post # 11
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Another thing to consider… does he wake up during the night at all, causing him to be more sleepy? My hubby does all the time, so he usually falls asleep earlier. And then, he’s up earlier, even though he doesn’t have to be.


Post # 12
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

If thats his thing then you need to make a compromise about it and stick to it! I guess our “overall” compromise is that 1) if he is not capable of staying awake he will just go to freakin bed already so he doesn’t snore on the couch and bug the crap out of me (lol) and 2) i’ll go to bed when he’s tired at least a few nights/week– particularly on our “date” nights which are wed/sat (we don’t actually go out twice/week but those nights we make sure to do stuff together rather than be with friends or work on our own stuff). 

Honestly once we started it we’ve kind of reached a middle ground. Most nights he works a little to stay up late and I go to bed a little earlier than I’d like… like around 10-11. If I’m really not tired I tell him its going to be a later night and he can either stay up with me or he goes to bed early. If he’s really tired he goes to bed when he wants, even 9pm. Really though, I’d say we go to bed together on average 5-6 nights/week. 

Post # 13
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You mentioned that he snores- sometimes snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea, where you stop breathing in the middle of the night for a second or two over and over again.  If this is happening, he could be not sleeping as soundly as he needs to be, and thus needs 10 hours to make up for it.  Just something to consider…

Post # 14
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Has it always been like this… him falling asleep on the couch, needing significantly more sleep than you (I have always needed 9-10 hours of sleep)? If so, you two need to talk (not too emotionally) about compromises. Explain to him that you really want to spend time with him (and prove it! He might just think you really just want the couch to watch tv) and how can you two do that — getting up earlier? Eating dinner earlier so you have time together after that?

If this is a new problem for him, what’s triggered the behaviour change? More stress? Is he depressed? If he feels like he absolutely cannot stay awake, and that’s a huge issue for him, or if getting less than 10 hours of sleep is terrible for him, he should see a doctor. He may have sleep apnea.

I’m curious why he gets up so early if he normally works until 7. Does he work double shifts? If he works, say, 11-7, maybe he should try sleeping in a little.

Post # 15
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I second the sleep apnea. If you have SA you don’t get restful sleep because you constatly are dealing with stopping breathing. It can put extra strain on your heart and he should see a doctor! GL!

Post # 16
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wanted to offer my side- i’m one of those who falls asleep on the couch, too! And not just on couches– sometimes in cars (while riding passenger, of course :P), in comfy chairs, while at other people’s houses– it’s not like it’s something that I ever planned, but I lead a pretty stressful lifestyle, and sometimes when I’m sitting somewhere and the sleeping bug creeps up on me, it feels so nice just to let myself succumb to it- it’s the ultimate relaxation, letting myself snooze a bit ๐Ÿ™‚

plus, when I’m not in a bed, it’s not like I’m gonig to bed early, I’m just “relaxing”

Not sure if this is how it is with your man, but it’s why I enjoy sleeping before bedLaughing

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