Post # 1
that he absolutely does not want to do a first look.
This is the very first time that FI has voiced an opinion about the wedding. He has always said that he wants me to be happy and whatever I choose, he will be ok with it.
We talked about doing the first look before and he seemed pretty ok with it. But yesterday, we were talking a little bit more about it when he told me he really didnt want to do it.
So, we arent doing it. But I still have a problem. I am getting married on November 4th, when the time will change and go back 1 hour. That means that the sun will set earlier. The wedding doesnt start until 4:30pm and the sun will set at 5:38pm to be exact (I looked it up (lol)).
Im not sure what to do here because the ceremony will probably last a whole hour and that would mean no pictures of FI and I before sunset. I dont want to try to change his mind because he has been very good with letting me have what I want during this whole planning process but Im just wondering how we are going to make it work.
Post # 3
Have you considered doing a day after shoot? They’re very popular at destination weddings, but you could probably make one work anyway.
I know how you feel though because my FI is super “traditional” about this ONE THING ONLY – and how he DOES NOT want to see the bride before the wedding. Funnily enough, Jews (he’s not, I am), do the whole photoshoot before the wedding, do the cocktail hour first, followed by the ceremony, and then dinner. I just want to be able to do the shoot first, ceremony, then join in the fun after instead of disappear for pictures!!
But, sometimes I have to relinquish control and if this is important to him, I won’t push the matter further.
Post # 4
I think he deserves to have all the facts when he voices his opinion, and he likely did not even consider losing the light as a factor. He may want outdoor shots! I’d tell him, all the while making it clear that you respect his decision, and you don’t expect him to change it!
Post # 5
My fiance too, has not had many opinions for the wedding, except NOT doing a first look. So since he doesn’t want to, we aren’t going to, even though I do.
Post # 6
i don’t know what a first look is.
Post # 7
You could do something like this instead – not an actual look but perhaps with a fence or something outside? Unless he doesn’t want to try it – http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/bridal-buzz/wedding-first-look
Does the ceremony absolutely HAVE to start at 4:30? Could you bump it up an hour?
Post # 8
Have you googled evening wedding photos??? They can really be absolutely incredible…
Post # 9
I think that a day after shoot might be the best (and easiest) option. However, if that will cost you more (or if you are leaving for your honeymoon or something) – it might be worth discussing with your FI about the losing light issue. I think that evening shots will be gorgeous and romantic, but if you really want that light – just talk to him about it!
@sylvia.riggle: First Look photos are where the bride and groom see each other for the first time (some brides choose to do this prior to the ceremony to get photos).
Post # 10
You can get plenty of great pictures after sunset. Look for cool indoor scenes that you can use instead of outdoor scenes. And make sure your photographer is good with indoor shots. Totally do-able. While outdoor pictures are very popular, they aren’t necessary!
Post # 11
@MsMindle: oh ok–I’m not doing that-and I can understand a groom not wanting to do that–some people want to see each other the 1st time at the ceremony.
To the OP: Can’t you change the time of your ceremony a bit so you can get pics together before the sun sets?
Have you checked to make sure the ceremony will take a full hour? It ususally doesn’t.
Post # 12
also talk to your photographer– they can bring lights!
Post # 13
@meanttobee: This is so hard, we are/were in the same boat with our ceromony starting at 6:30pm (we cannot have it ealrier as this is the earliest the venue allows) and the sunsets at 7:30pm!
It was me that was dead set on not having one BUT I have had to change my mind if I want to have the pictures I am looking for..so we are now having one.
Tell him about the ligjt and if he is still set againt it then as another pp said how about the day after as a possibility
Post # 14
I’ve shot a lot of weddings, and no one I’ve ever talked to has said they’ve regretted a first look. I also have seen way more emotional first looks than I ever have reactions to walking down the aisle. I respect the wishes of my clients, so we never push the issue if people don’t want to do them, but I’ll never really understand considering how many benefits there are to doing them. You definitely should talk to your photographer so they are prepared to do night shots. I’m not sure where you are getting married, but outdoor portraits with artificial light is tricky, and not all photographers are great with it. You definitely want to make sure they are prepared for this and bring the proper equipment. Set up time is always a lot longer too, so make sure you budget enough time to get what you want.
Post # 15
I’m also a wedding photographer, but from a personal perspective I can say without a doubt that if I were in your shoes I would either push the ceremony back an hour or suck it up and do evening family formals (which CAN be amazing in the right hands, especially during that twilight-y time when the sky is a rich blue color!).
It’s so rare for my fiance to have opinions on wedding stuff that when he does I try to be all for it, haha. Especially ceremony-related things, because the ceremony trumps EVERYTHING else in my view. So it’s a slight inconvenience… whatev! If he wants to soak up the moment and get emotional right before you say your vows, I say DO IT DO IT DO IT! 🙂
[Or if you’re set on a First Look, you could show him some amazingly emotional ones on photographers’ blogs. Maybe he’ll change his mind?]
Post # 16
Think on the bright side: You could get some great shots right at sunset! Escape right after your are pronounced man and wife for 15 or so minutes just to get those gorgeous shots.