(Closed) He finally listened and I’M ENGAGED!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 183
1033 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Okay.. I didn’t want to comment on this but here are my thoughts.

Nowhere in your original posts did you mention what your man wants.  It was all about you and your plan. You want 2 children by thirty so you need to get started now, but you have only been together 5 months. I have been with my husband over 5 years and new stuff comes up all the time. I’m sorry but it is coming off as if you are only concerned about what you want and that will not make a happy marriage. It seems like you only want to marry him because he came along in this window of time that your “husband” was supposed to come along in. Therefore anyone you would be dating now would be your future “husband”.

Get to know eachother, know yourself and don’t worry about the future so much you have plenty of time! Life isn’t so black and white, there are so many shades of gray.

Post # 184
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@hopetobe: thank you.  no one EVER considers the option of not being able to conceive unless they have a medical condition and even then, it’s BECAUSE they know about the condition that they consider it.  It’s something that happens.  It’s also not something you can control just by saying “it WILL happen”. 

As the line goes “the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray”.  Just because you plan it, that does NOT mean it WILL happen.


Post # 185
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@hopetobe:I’m really glad you had another talk with him.


Congratulations to you!

But do realize you still have a lot of work to do. Depression is a serious illness, and you need to learn the tools to strengthen yourself so that you can be strong for your fiance when he needs you. Working on yourself and your own strength will be best for you, him *and* your marriage. Good luck with your goals.


Post # 186
23 posts
  • Wedding: April 2009

@hopetobe: What I find disturbing is that you essentially lied to your doctor in order to get some medication. That’s pretty messed up.

“I was prescriped Alzapam by my family doctor. He thinks its a phase although I didn’t tell him I was upset because of not getting engaged.

Post # 187
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I never thought my baby timeline sounded crazy until all of you mentioned it and Ryna mentioned having trouble concieving (sorry) and it’s just not something I ever considered not in my control.


BWAHAHAHA. This honestly made me laugh out loud. Do you honestly think everything in life just falls neatly into your lap because you wished and dreamed oh so hard for it?


And I do hope you go back to school since, unless you have a like a huge trust fund, mommy and daddy’s money isn’t going to last forever.

Good luck and best wishes.

Post # 188
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am so glad that we actually (sorta) helped! Communication is a great thing! You 2 crazy kids will be just fine… & I am sure you will have your VERY happy ending…

just make it about both of you! And yes, keep us posted & good luck tonight! Sending you positive thoughts!

Post # 189
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@hopetobe: I’m going to believe this is all good and honest and say congratulations.  Good for you holding your own with all these negative comments  Good luck!

Post # 190
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011


@An Alaskan Bride:” Maybe she’ll just stand by the train depot and wait for the orphan train to roll on by

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, i almost peed my pants Embarassed

Post # 191
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i just lost a good 30 minutes of work time that could have been spent working on a report by skimming thru these 5 pages so i wanted to say 2 things:

1) Congrats Hopetobe on your engagement. i hope it all works out for the best.

2) I had a life plan once. I wanted to be married and have a couple of kids before I turned 30.  And before getting married, i wanted a few years after finishing school to travel around Europe or something exciting…………..then I decided to do my PhD. Enough said.  I am 30, never travelled around Europe, no kids, and I just married a month ago……….But i am  happy. I met my hubby in grad school after all and I will have a career I enjoy (I hope).  And maybe one day I will have money to travel.  Oh, and on a side note, I don’t receommed doing a PhD! If i could go back, I would do something different!

Post # 192
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hopetobe: I think having a real heart to heart with your guy is a great idea.

Really listen to what HE wants and then talk about what you BOTH want as a couple.

Also, I think going back to school right away (and finishing your degree before you have kids is a really good idea.

Just because you don’t NEED to work (for $) doesn’t mean you may not want to work at some point (especially if you decide to push your wedding and possibly having kids back you may want to be doing something else in the mean time.

It sounds like he is a really great guy and that he really does love you. You both just need to have an open (non threatening/demanding) heart to heart about your aspirations, hopes, and dreams and make sure you are both on the same page.

Successful relationships are all about equal partnership and open, honest communication.

Good luck!

Post # 193
7 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

You asked for somebody to tell you how you guilted him,

“So I went home and showed him the pills the doctor gave me and the paperwork from school. I told him that this is because we aren’t engaged and my health,all of my dreams and my future are being stalled because he won’t just act”

That is the biggest guilt trip I have ever heard. Can you say pressure?

Post # 194
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I haven’t read all of the posts, but I have to say that this was quite entertaining!  Anyone ever read “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift?  I read it my sophomore year in high school for my AP European class and the prof had to stop the discussion and explain it was satire because we all missed it.

ETA: Er, not to imply folks missed it here.  Folks seemed to have caught on well enough.

Post # 195
1831 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@kay01: <3 A Modest Proposal: “For Preventing The Children of Poor People in Ireland
From Being Aburden to Their Parents or Country, and For Making Them Beneficial to The Public

Post # 196
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow, after the day I’ve had….I needed this thread….just Wow…I love me some WB

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