Post # 17
Can someone please explain to me how I guilted him?? I cannot believe that anyone would say that. He felt awful that he never realized how much I want this and did the right thing. If he didn’t want to marry me why would he propose and get me a ring then? He saw me hurting and loves me enough to make me not hurt and I don’t see how that is guilt?!
Have I posted this in the wrong place or something?
Post # 18
Congratulations! I hope everything works out for you! You have a strict plan that may not always work out how you want it to. You shouldn’t make yourself sick stressing from it.
Post # 20
Trust me… it’s not to do with posting in the wrong place, it’s the fact that you posted this at all!!!
I’m sorry, this has got to be a troll posting!
Post # 21
I’m sorry, I would congratulate you but honestly it’s hard to after what you wrote. Its not right to con someone into them proposing to you. I think you should take a hard look at the things you did to get engaged. it’s not healthy.
You cannot control every aspect fo your life or make people meet your expectations or schedule. I hope for your sake that your Fiance does not resent you for this.
Post # 22
Oh boy. ::takes a deep breath::
You were hurting because he wasn’t proposing. So he proposed. You should not hurt because he wasn’t proposing. You should hurt if he does not love you. If he loves you, you should be patient. Waiting 10 years seems like a lot. Waiting 5 months doesn’t.
Post # 23
While, I do think that you went too far with the guilt trip, I don’t think he would have asked you if he really didn’t want to.
I have known people who have only been dating a short period of time when they got engaged so I really do not judge anyone based on how long they’ve been together. As long as you both believe you are ready to be married and know you want to be together forever, then I don’t see a reason not to be engaged.
Post # 24
How do I need help? I thought that this is a wedding site to plan and a place to vent about waiting. I shared my story to help others and update my waiting.
Why is a ‘strict babymaking schedule’ a bad thing too? I know what I want my life to look like and I don’t see how that’s bad. Are you saying you don’t know if you even want children or if you want to get maried? Did you not ever dream about being married and how many kids you would have and stuff? I’m actually really upset at so many posting kind of mean things to this. Thank you to mickarose for at least wanting to be happy 🙁
Post # 25
really you should be ashamed. I try to stay away from drama on here , as i am a new member, but with this i cannot keep my mouth shut!
Post # 26
This is a very friendly place (coming from the KNOT, which isn’t). As long as you understand that everything cannot happen through life the way you want it. This worked out for you, but you don’t know how the rest of your life will go and the obstacles that you and your hubby will have to go through.
Enjoy planning & have fun!
Post # 27
I guess I’m sensitive so maybe I get sad or depressed easier or something. I’m trying not to take any of the kind of mean posts personally since it’s the internet and everything but it’s a little hard. I don’t see this as guilting him. The doctor DID prescripe me medicine because I’ve been so upset. I felt like maybe he wasn’t serious or doesn’t love me or I’m not pretty enough or skinny enough or something. I HAVE been failing out because I’ve been so sad about everything. I don’t have to prove it I know but he needed a push and that is all I did.
I’m a pretty strong woman with knowing what I want in my life and when and I don’t think that is bad at all. If he didn’t love me he wouldn’t feel bad about me getting sick over this and wouldn’t have proposed. I’m going to just be happy and not let this damper my news. I may not share how it happened with freinds and family now though.
Thank you so much to those that said congratulations.
Post # 28
A short dating -> engagement may have worked for your parents, but it doesn’t always mean it will for you. If you knew he was the one that soon like you say you did, and knew he would eventually propose, why the rush? My Fiance and I knew probably 3 months in, BUT we waited until we were mostly through college and had some savings to get engaged – I always knew he would propose so I guess I’m not understanding how and why you have made yourself sick over this?
And after a month of living together, things may seem good, but honestly, you’re still early in your relationship and it’s going to seem all rainbows and happiness. We didn’t live together until this January – and as well as I knew him after 4 years of dating – all these little things start coming out of the woodwork – how does your Fiance do his laundry, put away the dishes, what’s his favorite cereal, does he leave the seat up, does he always hit snooze and you want to get up right way – after 12, 20, 60, months together, you have a much better idea than at 5 months. And you learn how to compromise on these things.
My biggest concern for you is that you dropped out of school – God forbid something should happen to your Fiance and leave you at 27 with your young child and another on the way and you don’t have a college degree or experience. What do you do? It’s awful to think about, but I know that I have skills, a degree, and experience and I would be able to provide for my family. Plus, although wedding planning can take up time, it is NOT a valid reason to drop out of school – plenty of brides (including myself) have made it work.
And as far as the guilt – he proposed because he felt bad at how awful the not being engaged made you feel – not because he had a moment of how can I possibly live without this girl in my life? I would prefer the latter, but to each their own.
Sorry for the novel, but please just think about what you are doing – you could stay engaged, but just take it slowly, value your education, and get to know each other better.
Post # 29
@hopetobe:My issue with the strict schedule for pregnancy is that life does not work that way. How do you know there wont be complications? How do you know you’re going to get pregnant right away? Life doesn’t always go according to plan. I’m just worried that with the way you reacted to not getting a proposal on your exact schedule that not having a baby according to your exact schedule you might freak out, goes on depressants again, and have a melt down.
Post # 30
I don’t think they said that the strict babymaking schedule was a bad thing. PPs were just making the point that you might not be able to stick to that schedule because it’s not something you have complete control over, and it sounded like you think you have complete control over your Fiance and when he proposed, so just try not to get used to that. I’m normally one of the nicest posters, but this situation just makes me feel like you might be setting yourself up for a huuuge letdown at some point.
Post # 31
@jenewitt: I couldn’t agree more.
@hopetobe: Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Just ask all of the bees who are on the infertility threads on here. If you are guilting him into proposing to you now, what will you do when you can’t have a baby right away? Guilting someone into doing something they wouldn’t normally do on their own b/c of your medical condition is no way to begin a marriage. That’s why there are so many people who are not congratulating you and expressing concern.