(Closed) He finally listened and I’M ENGAGED!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You need to be okay with being by yourself before you get married! You should never flunk out of school because some guy you’ve been with for 5 months hasn’t proposed yet. That’s just insanity.

Post # 33
Member
15062 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I guess as long as you’re happy and it worked out for you….. but really??  I cant imagnie my life being so focused on two things thing, engagement and baby, that I would throw away other parts of my life for it.  GET A GRIP.  There is more to life.  What if it did not go your way and he left under the pressure??   There’s a want for something.. and theres an unhealthy obsession…

Post # 35
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@hisgoosiegirl: +1

I want to say this delicately, and with as much respect as possible.  If you cannot handle the stress of ‘waiting’ and you drop out of school because of it, how will you handle the stress of wedding planning, being married, being pregnant, being a mother….?  Life has an unlimited supply of curve balls to throw at us, and being frustrated about not being engaged after only 5 months is not really one of them. 

I waited nearly 6 years for my first husband to propose, and the frustration I felt truly paled in comparison to the rest of what life had in store for me.

I do wish you the best of luck, and I hope things go as well as you have planned. 

Post # 36
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@hopetobe: I must agree with PP… your Boyfriend or Best Friend would have proposed WHEN he was ready. Getting depressed over not getting engaged after 5 months is a little insane. You dont fail out of school because you are depressed over not getting engaged. School recquires attendance and work; so if you chose not to do those things then that is the reason you werent doing well. Not because your depressed over not getting a ring. I’m sure your Fiance is a nice guy and when you goto him and say “Your making me sick because I want a ring and you havent given it to me….” Thats guilting him into doing it because at that point he feels bad for “making you sick” – I would NEVER want a ring from someone who didnt give it to me on their time after making up their own mind about it.

I hate to say this but IF your bf wanted to propose he would have done it on his own & wouldnt have needed ANY push at all. Men are ready when they are ready – no one needs any sort of “push” to get married. If you have to push him; he isnt ready and it was you proposing to yourself. I dont want anything  I have to talk someone into!

This is sick & odd…. you should be depressed for the way your treating Fiance… its great to have goals and dreams about life but if they dont work out they dont work out… I’m 25 engaged and have a 3yr old… I always wanted 3 kids (with their father) and no kids after 30 however I have a 3yr old by a guy that bearly sees her; Im engaged to a great guy that doesnt want anymore kids…. so dreams change because honey life doesnt have to go the way you want it to… there are more people out there and your Fiance life needs to be his decision and the life you have together INCLUDING children should not solely be your decision just because you want 2 kids by 28….. Sorry!

Post # 37
Member
2088 posts
Buzzing bee

Good lord… ::facepalm::

I’m glad your happy but really… this is not normal behaviour.

Post # 38
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Congrats on your engagement! I waited for what felt like forever- hinting, hinting and hinting some more! I think people are just a bit stunned by your pulling out of school because of this (which I was too, to be honest!) but it obviously (for whatever reason) had a big effect on you and you did what you felt you had to- none of my buisness lol Hopefully now you can get your schooling back on track and start planning your wedding!! Congrats again.

Post # 39
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@futuredain: Bingo! Planning a wedding is HARD and stressful and makes most people want to yank o ut their hair at some point. But quitting school to plan? Really? Over a guy you’ve dated for 5 months? We all plan for our futures, but you can’t plan for that future if you flunk out and quit over this man. Your future children need to see a strong, smart, successful woman.

Anyone else feel like there will be an intervention by this guy’s friends in the near future or is it just me?

 

Post # 40
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@futuredain: Totally agree. OP, you need to get your emotions together on your own and not depend so much on someone else to make you happy. 

Post # 41
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honsetly… what makes you think you will EVER be happy? Or that he will be a Partner in anything….

this is exactly like a child who decided what they wanted then made them selves so upset in a tantrum that they threw up.

I would seriously look at your life and deced if HE is going to be happy being bull dozed by your tantrums the rest of his life. being married and engaged is more than just you getting a shiny ring and a white dress.

I honestly think you must be a very selfish person, and the idea of you raising kiddos makes me concerned about the kinds of lessons you would teach them.

I am very sorry I am sure I sound like a stone cold b&#@!

I am not happy for you. I am quite saddened by your whole situation.

Good luck in your life.

Post # 42
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

Ok, so maybe your first post wasn’t written exactly how you meant it to come out, but what worries me still is this:

“We need to get married in a year if we are going to have the future I have always dreamed about so it’s not that I’m trying to rush it but there is a timeline.

It started off okay with “we” need to get married in a year if “we” are going to have the future…then it gets not so good…”I have always dreamed about.

Is the future you want, the future he wants also?  Food for thought.

Congratulations 🙂

Post # 43
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

By The Way. loving the ::facepalm:: Just saw this for the first time on the bee yesterday and think it is just perfect for some of these posts.

Post # 45
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@hopetobe: ok you said… ” I haven’t thought about him dying and me not having a career or not having my babies before 28 or any of that because I really believe in positive thinking. I don’t let myself dwell on negative thoughts like that.”

THAT IS INSANE… you are NOT mature enough to be married if you cant discuss and be prepared for ANY of those things to happen! Positive thinking aside… it takes a mature adult to get married and have children; and if your going to be a good mother you MUST sit down with your husband and plan for something horrible to happen. Lord knows we hope it will never happen but part of life are those unexpected curveballs that could be anything from a loss of a job to death. What would you tell your kids if someone lost a job or husband died in an accedent- “Sorry kids that we are losing our house and have no money, Mommy never talked to Daddy about what we would plan to do if this happened becaues Mommy’s a positive thinker and didnt want to have to deal with something so gloomy”  WOW!

GROW UP & Wisen Up! Fiance should never REALIZE what you want so they do it… Proposing is about HIM wanting to ASK YOU to marry him… Not you wanting him to get you a ring and say sure i’ll marry you!

Post # 46
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

One word: NAIVE.

 

P.S.- Of course the doctor will prescribe you medicine, that’s how they make money!

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