Post # 1
Today is my birthday. My fiance gave me a steering wheel cover, and a new coffee mug. I went to work, he didn’t since he works nights. He had the whole day to plan something, clean something or do something…. but didn’t I came home early thinking we could go to dinner and a movie, but that isn’t happening because he is sleeping and just woke up. He says he feels bad and is acting like a sad puppy dog. I am so hurt and angry. I only get one birthday, and when his birthdays come around, its a HUGE ordeal. I get a cake, party decorations and a card plus some small gifts. I get a steering wheel cover and mug. No card, no cake, nothing else to make me feel like a birthday girl. Sorry, but I feel like crying and I am so upset right now. Ugh.
Post # 3
@Purpleblonde: I feel u , my husband used to be like that ! Ugh until I had a really long talk with him , my husband never thought the a birthday was such a big deal for me , but the problem was the he was never interested on his own birthday since his mother never celebrated his birthday until he was 24 yrs old !!! Not even a cake !!! Only that one the she buy for him when he turned 24 ! Too late mama ! !! So he basically did not care about birthday but after we talked about it he has been amazing ! He would buy me a cake a nice gift dinner and flowers every single birthday ! So my advice is talk to him and let him know u care about this especial day !! Men are different then women we are more sentimental !
Post # 4
I’m sorry you feel this way! Maybe order some takeout, get some dessert, and curl up to watch a movie.
Post # 5
@Purpleblonde: Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! 😉
A virtual cake is on the way for u ! 😉
Post # 6
=( If it makes you feel any better for my birthday last year my finace got me and ipad cover… for the wrong ipad.. no card, or flowers and a crappy case I could not even use. It was not the gift I was most upset about but the lack of effort so I totally know how you feel!! Some guys are just clueless!
Now I tell him exactly what I want and he knows to always get me a card 😉
I am sure your Fiance feels awful and will do something special to make up for it!!
By The Way: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Do something to treat yourself! Get your favorite take-out, put on a ridiculously girl movie and relax =)
EDIT: Just saw a PP mentions to treat yourself while I was typing this. Seriously though do it!! You will feel SO much better
Post # 7
At another time when you have calmed down, have a talk with him about how important birthday’s are to you and what kind of things you expect. Then perhaps organise to go out next week or something. As @catracha: mentioned, people have different perspectives on how birthdays should be celebrated. If you clearly tell him what you want and he still fails, then that’s a real problem. But until you know that you are both on the same page, cut him a little slack.
Post # 8
@Purpleblonde: First things first – Happy Birthday. Now repeat after me: “Boys are dumb.” Say it again. And once more for good measure.
Guys don’t think like we do, and they can’t read minds. Tell him kindly that you’re disappointed and tell him why. You might also want to point out that him feeling badly now doesn’t help. Articulate how he can make amends and then let him. Try to remember all the nice things he does for you and why you’ve chosen to be with him. And then give yourself a big hug because you deserve one!
Post # 9
Boys are stupid. Yell at him and eat junk food then proceed with the silent treatment. Works 90% of the time until he forgets again. Repeat when necessary.
Post # 10
@anothersmith: Boys ARE dumb! LOL.
But luckily, OP, the good ones listen and take notes. The first year we were together my Fiance got me NOTHING… lol!!! and it is mainly because his family never really celebrated birthdays. Once I told him how important that day was to me, he was sure to make a big deal out of it (not that I need a big deal)… but he definitely understands now. We had a heart-to-heart (because I’m honest with him, sometimes too honest, lol) and he completely gets it. He even celebrates my half-birthday now as an inside joke! Good luck!
PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🙂
Post # 11
Unfortunately you can’t expect men to take hints like replicating what you do for his birthday. Instead, you should talk to him and tell him what you expect on your birthday. It may be annoying to talk about, but it’s better to talk to him and get on the same page than to have this happen every year.
Post # 12
Happy Birthday! Please don’t take this as rude as that is not how it is intended. Though it is a gift to spend your birthday with the one you love most I really feel its very trival. Life has so much to offer the two of you in years to come. All that matters is that you are together and that he is there and loves you. My fiance and I always celebrate our “anniversary” of our first date, (until we will be married that is). We both forgot this year and didn’t do anything. We didn’t even try to make it up to eachother or anything. We just cuddled next to the fire and watched a movie, (several nights after the anniversary). I almost forgot his birthday this year too. The day before I was quickly wrapping packages and didn’t even have a card for him (and I am definitely a card person). He didn’t care. I would take that day by the fire over any birthday or anniversary party. In the end, when you both are 90 years old, cuddling by the fire, you won’t care about birthdays, just how much of a blessing it is to have him in your life. <3
Kind of an off subject but: once I got mad at my fiance in front of his mother, like really mad. and I don’t usually do that. She told me that nothing is worth getting that mad over, and handed me a fortune cookie, as they had chinese food that night. I opened it up and will never forget what it said, “Love is the most important thing in life.” I realized how stupid I was being and felt so bad for yelling at him. He said it didn’t even matter, that even if we fight or just have a bad night, he would rather have 100 fights together than be apart from me for one day. I really believe that saying, Love is the most important thing in life.
Post # 13
How long have you been together? Does he normally go all out for your birthday or is this just how he is? In any case, you should tell him he’s got to use the rest of the week to make it up to you. 🙂
Post # 15
Im sorry=( Happy Birthday, I hope it gets better, or he redeems himself this weekend!!
Post # 16
Think of it this way. You now have 1 sad Birthday but enough ammo to hold over his head for many many years to come. Trust me, I’ve been married 21 years