(Closed) He gave me a ring… but not an e-ring. Srsly?!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think wait to work out how you want to deal with this issue until he actually gives you the ring and lets you know what his intentions with it are. At this stage it could be:

– a nice but unintentionally insensitive gift; or

– an engagement ring he intends you to keep but he’s misjudged your taste about; or

– the ring he intends to propose with before letting you pick out a ‘forever’ ring together.

 

Post # 32
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

 

jhunter:  You don’t wear jewelry and you are complaining that he got you a simple ring? Also how can you complain yet if you have not seen it? How do you know that your sister is not yanking your chain? 

Post # 33
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Uhm, if you don’t want it, can I have it?  I love that ring, it’s beautiful!  And I’m as plane Jane as they come.  The only pieces of jewelry I wear are my engagement ring, our engagement necklace, and the crab earrings he bought me when he proposed (Maryland thing).

Post # 35
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

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jhunter:  But would you really want an engagement ring from someone who is not ready to give you one? I mean, I get your frustration however if he really isn’t just trying to throw you off and planning to actually propose, then maybe marriage isn’t his top priority right now?

Post # 36
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

Honestly with situations like this he has no reason to get married. He gets all the perks of marriage without actually having to make the commitment. Why would he want anything to change? He already feels set in life! 

Post # 37
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

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jhunter:  So he gave it to you? How did it go? Did you tell him while this is a nice gift I’d like you to return it if possible because the only new piece of jewelry I want/need is a sparkler for my left ring finger 😉

Post # 38
Member
9576 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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jhunter:  i would be honest when he gives it to you and drop the hammer. “Return it. The only ring I want from you is an ering. You know that. You cannot distract me with sparkles. I am the mother of your child. And it’s about time I’m a wife. Get it together.”

Enough beating around the bush. You have a kid. I wouldn’t be able to play nice either with this daft move. 

Post # 39
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

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jhunter:  I hate to be the only one saying this but to me you don’t sound grateful for what seens to be a nice anniversary gift from your SO. If you want an engagement you need to talk to him about a timeline but I wouldn’t put down the work he put into getting you a beautiful RHR, that would just be insensitive. I think you should say something along the lines of “I appreciate the gift you are giving me and I love you so much that I would really like to have a serious conversation about us getting engaged. I feel after ____ time together and having our baby we are ready for the next step and would like the next present you get me to be an engagement ring” 

Post # 40
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

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FutureMrsHodgy:  I agree with you. She’s already acting like a wife. They have a kid together and they live together. He already has a “married life” without the marriage.

Post # 41
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

btw, I love that blue stone ring, I think it BEAUTIFUL!!

And hope this make you feel better. There was no official proposal, or engagement between me and my husband. I didn’t even need an engagement ring, I told him don’t buy one…… We are 2 adults, he started talking about marriage, so we both talked. And I agree to get married, simple like that…. We went go buy our gold band wedding ring, and we got married at a Courthouse ceremony.

If you want a proposal, want a wedding, keep telling your Boyfriend or Best Friend. Since you already tell him and he still haven’t give you an ‘offcial proposal’ then simply means he is not ready…. And since you have a 5 months old baby with him, then I guess keep wait and keep mentioned the proposal to him….. Maybe he trying to surprise you, so he throwing you off. Can’t wait for an update too, Update us okay OP

Post # 42
Hostess
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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jhunter:  I would be pissed off at this too. I don’t care if it is a nice ring or not, or if it is a nice anniversary gift, I too would feel like this was salt in the wound. I totally agree with
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MrsBuesleBee:  You are the mother of his child, why the hell wouldn’t he want to marry you!?

Post # 43
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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MrsBuesleBee:  +1

Tell him you want an e-ring, not a RHR, end of story. I admit to being totally confused as to why marriage is even an issue when the couple lives together *and* has a child. Give me a f-ing break. 

Post # 44
Member
4500 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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MrsBuesleBee:  
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MsBeer:  
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doberman:  exactly what these guys said.

When he gives you the ring, you have a perfect opportunity to let him know how you feel. Thank him for the thought, but ask him why this is not an engagement ring (forget that you think it’s ugly for the moment). It’s time for you guys to have a serious talk.

I’d be every bit as upset as you are, OP. Good luck. 

Post # 45
Member
266 posts
Helper bee

Update??

It seems like the issue is not the money, he is either not ready or just doesn’t want to get engaged at this point.  Have you had a talk about a timeline for engagement?

The topic ‘He gave me a ring… but not an e-ring. Srsly?!’ is closed to new replies.

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