(Closed) He gave me a ring… but not an e-ring. Srsly?!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 61
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think its much prettier than the original photo I actually love it, I would wear it and be very thankful for it as a gift or ering, its not really bright blue so I can see why he wasnt worried about it being to colourful  and sizes men always make mistakes there.

Maybe when he gives you the ring tease him back and say ‘yes I will marry you!’ 

Post # 63
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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jhunter:  Wow? After 3 years together and a child he’s just NOW thinking of a POSSIBLE future? WTF? As I said in my other post, it’s up to you now. He clearly will not be proposing any time soon and you’ll have to either accept it or not. How important is marriage to you? Is it a deal breaker? You’ve got some thinking to do. Good luck.

Post # 65
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

mrspinesol: +1

OP: You come off as entitled and feel that you deserve his tax return. It’s his money, he earned it, not you. He can do as he pleases with it. Maybe there’s a reason why he’s not ready to propose? You’ve already made it clear that YOU have a timeline, that doesn’t mean he has the same timeline. I think mrspinesol hit the nail on the head with this one. You need to take a step back a refocus because your priorities seem out of whack. Building a marriage takes a LOT more than a fancy ring and a wedding. What you two need right now is couples counseling, not a fancy ring. You’re clearly not on the same page.

EDIT: Just saw your last post about materialism. Either way, you two need to talk things out, as I said, you’re not on the same page.

Post # 66
Member
4500 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
jhunter:  You have a really tough decision to make. It’s hard to leave the father of your child. I totally get that. But after all you’ve been through together, he’s telling you that he’s “thinking of a possible future with you?” No. I think you need to stand up for yourself here, and tell him you are 100% certain about having a future with him, and if he’s not sure about you, then that’s too bad, and you’re leaving. And then leave.

Post # 67
Member
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would be beside myself after his latest comment. I don’t  know this guy,obviously, but from what you’ve written here he seems childish and immature. 

He’s a father now. He doesn’t get to blow money on toys for himself and ignore the mother of his child. He needs to man up. If he wasn’t being honest during your timeline talks, now is the time for him to step up and tell you that. 

Post # 68
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
jhunter:  ok so the point is you want an ering and not a rhr and you would rather have a mug. you want to be engaged and he is not proposing. So you are pretty much like every Bee who is waiting and has no ring And you want one and not some stupid rhr. Well that sucks but still no reason to hate the ring just because its not an ering. You have obviously talked to him before about this from what I gather. Looks like you just have to wait it out. 

Post # 69
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Tinatiny1 is right. He’s a father now. He should be thinking of ways to spend that $6000 on his FAMILY and not just toys. Is there a college fund for his son? Do you guys own a home? Once someone becomes a parent, they should be thinking about the child first.

Post # 70
Member
366 posts
Helper bee

You two need to talk. Now.

He feels your relationship is “just getting good.” YOU DON’T FEEL THAT WAY and he needs know that.

The two of you have a child together. At this point, he needs to solidify his commttment to you and his child one way or another. i/e MAN UP.

But he won’t because he’s got everything without it; Live in girlfriend, baby-mamma, all the benefits.

 

Post # 72
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Lakeside003:  umm, they hava a child together, a combined household, and a joint lifestyle… Would you tell someone who is a wife they have no right to their spouse’s tax return?? IDC if you have joint accounts or separate, tax return money isn’t just free windfall. It is part of your salary which you overpaid to the government. I assume they have some system worked out for the rest of their salary and who pays what… So the people who say “it’s his money!” Or “you’re acting too married, the cow is free!” – it doesn’t compute. 

 

I would definitely be PISSED if my boyfriend I had a child with, that I had lived with for 3 years, gave me a ring that wasn’t an engagement ring… To signify that NOW we had a “possibility of a future.” I don’t like ultimatums, but shit or get off the pot. YOU HAVE A CHILD. YOU CANNOT ACT LIKE ONE YOURSELF.

Post # 73
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry! Sounds like a lot of talking is in order, less really about the ring and more your differing feelings about the relationship. If I lived with someone 2.5 years, had a baby with them and they told me the relationship was just starting to get good I would be PISSED and probably crying or packing.

Post # 74
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I get it, OP! 

I am posting a picture of the beautiful non-engagement ring that I received on Valentine’s Day from my boyfriend of almost 2 1/2 years. we live together and we have spoken about marriage quite a bit  (especially quite a bit in the past and recent couple of months). while I hinted around that someday I wanted a piece of jewelry with my husband’s birthstone on it , I did not mean for him to run out and buy me a ring with his birthstone in it when we weren’t even engaged yet! haha

Post # 75
Member
35 posts
Newbee

i’m not sure why only the first paragraph of my responses post but I had a lot more that I said that didn’t show up just now

The topic ‘He gave me a ring… but not an e-ring. Srsly?!’ is closed to new replies.

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