- 7 years ago
Alright Bees, this will be long and I apologize in advance!!
Last week SO and I were chatting as usual and I think I mentioned what year I would want to conceive, but I’ve mentioned this several times before.
A little background on that – I guess you can say I’m superstitious with the Chinese Zodiac. I’m born in the Year of the Dragon and I am compatible with Rats and most compatible with Monkeys. My ex was a Rat, and my SO is a Monkey. I’m no creep going out asking guys if they’re a Monkey or a Rat.. My relationships just happen to be men with my two compatible animals. Also my Grandma raised me and the first tattoo I got is for her and she is also a Monkey. When I came to this realisation that’s when I started to really be into Chinese Zodiac. My Grandma always told me that the Dragon is the number one animal in the zodiac and her being a Monkey, is really lucky to have 2 Dragons of hers, my Uncle and I. So you can make the connection that Monkeys are most compatible with Dragons. This year is the year of the Dragon and I am not ready for a child. 5 years from now is the year of the Monkey and I will be 27. If I waited for the next year of the dragon I will be 32. 27 to me is ideal as my mom had me when she was 25. My mom and my dad have a 9 year age difference, like SO and I. If I waited until I was 32, which I wouldn’t mind, SO will be 41. We both want to have kids because we both come from broken families. We want to build a loving home which means spending time with our children. He said himself he wants to see all the big events in life, especially grandchildren and wants to live to be able to witness these events.
Now moving on to our conversation, SO stated that if I’m so sure of wanting a child 5 years from now, if I will be okay with not being married or not having a wedding. I turned to him kind of shocked and just said “What?” He then said,
“Well I probably won’t give you a ring until 4 years from now, and if you want a baby, we can’t really afford a wedding. And you’ve been talking so much about having a destination wedding, which sounds even more expensive. Plus you want a Polar Bear Diamond, or a Yellow Diamond, not Princess cut, at least 1 Carat… blah blah blah I’ll need money for that so.. yeah 4 years from now.”
Well…..ummm I guess someone pays attention to me even when he looks like he’s not?? hahaha. From 1 conversation he certaintly remembered pretty much EVERYTHING! For me 4 years is 1. Cutting too close to my preferred year to conceive.. 2. It will be 6.5 years since we’ve been dating. 3. My dad is very traditional. He thinks my SO should be at a certain place in life due to his age, he is currently 31. And I am afraid if SO waits 4 years from now that my dad doesn’t think he is man enough to propose or just plain doesn’t want to get married. Especially since my brother is 26, proposed to his gf in December 2011 and is getting married this October!
My Brother getting married in October doesn’t help any. I just watched “What’s your Number” Anna Farris and Chris Evans with my SO yesterday and just realized I have to give a speech at my Brother’s weddin and naturally I started to freak out. I didn’t want to think too much about his wedding because it was making me upset. His fiancee texted me yesterday as well telling me I have to make sure my dress looks damn good because I’m going to be in all the photos (duh I’m his sister…) Because I’m a perfectionist I am now always subconciously thinking about a dress and trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to say about their relationship when I have been ABSENT in different cities cause they were official 3 months after SO and I were official .. =
I don’t know if he gave me a timeline to throw me off the scent or not.. our lives are going to change again as we are moving back to the city we both love so much and starting our lives over again for the 4th time! We’ve moved 3 times in our 2.5 years of being together, to 2 different places! We met in Vancouver but we never spent any real time together there so it’s exciting for the both of us and we’re moving sometime in March. He’s been really good with surprising me. Example my Christmas Present. He kept saying he got it, then he didn’t have it, he ordered it and it won’t be here in time, he doesn’t have money to buy it.. he said everything under the sun. I wasn’t expecting a gift because I don’t know what else I want but an engagement ring and I am not cruel enough to bug him and respond with “you know I want an e-ring..” But I was expecting any kind of gift because we love Christmas haha. WELL I was floored when I got my gift. He was sooo smooth with everything. It’s the first time he has ever done a surprise like that and he also said “Well, now I know how to do it even better in the future.” So of course now I’m expecting something crazy to happen in the future.
I know this is such a long ramble and I’m really sorry.. I ramble because I just have sooo much on my mind!! But my question to you Bees is do you think he threw the timeline in there so I don’t expect anything? Or do you think his timeline is for real? Any and all advice/comments are welcome!! This is my little cry for help before I actually scream it haha