- 3 months ago
He has been texting for almost everyday for past 5 months (in LDR) and ghosted me today just for asking him to talk over the phone. For past 3 months he has been saying that he has feelings for me and loves me and I always tried taking a level further of talking over the phone, but he always had an excuse. Last I had told him to talk over the phone early April and then directly today, I asked him if we can talk over the phone today evening and that I would love to listen to his voice, he read the message on Whatsapp and then stopped communicating completely after that. He read the message, but didn’t reply to it. I can’t describe my feelings right now, am hurt, heartbroken, angry and not sure what should I do.
Full story: So I knew this guy as an acquaintance and we met online in Jan. He was taking a lot of interest in trying to know me and we shared details about our past relationships. He said he was doing hookups and FWB’s and asked if I was, and I mentioned that I am always looking for serious relationships. Anyways, he kept texting me daily for 2 months telling me he likes talking to me. But after 2 months in March he said he has got feelings for me. I told him I would need some time to know him more and I was also worried about the cultural diff (I am from diff culture and he is American) before I could share my feelings. He was stressed out due to something and I told him he call me anytime to talk if he feels stressed as he said he doesn’t have much friends there. After few weeks of him showing interest and lots of care, I got some feelings too so I started taking him seriously. He had mentioned he will come meet me once I move to new city (I was in middle of moving). He would discuss our future, kids and what not and somehow we got into a bit of sexting.
I moved late March and after that he kept pressuring me to share more of my pics with him both semi-nude/pics of my undies during sexting. After an argument, he said he won’t ask me again, but he did and got annoyed when I said no to him. Also I had discussed about we should talk on phone to which he kept making excuses like he keeps forgetting to call/is busy/doesn’t know what to talk/needs more time to know me before talking over the phone. I tried calling him couple of times but he never picked up the phone. One day I told him in a nice way that it’s better that he looks for someone who meets his needs(for sharing pics n all) and since we are diff people we will have issues in the relationship. Also I told him that I am looking for someone with whom I can talk over the phone and meet in person more often. He said he wants to continue and is on the same page with everything. This was in early April.
However after this everything changed. He was mostly busy or had some family issues or went through some surgery and would text me mainly late evenings or later at night and would be in a rush to get into sexting. He was taking much interest in knowing e or talking about the future. Whenever I ask he would say he is busy, so I was feeling like I was needy or guilty. I gave him all the space and time he needed. In mid-May his texting reduced to one text in entire day, so I backed off and he got mad saying I am not texting him at all. I told him that he always gives me being busy reason, so I asked him if he is still on the same page or if things have changed. He apologized and said that he is busy and he loves talking to me(didn’t say about being on same page). So we tried texting more frequently again and then he added me on WhatsApp. Earlier our texts used to be like back n forth conversations and now it was if I send him one text, he would be online but will take him minutes to respond. Also he would quickly want to jump into sexting without talking much about the day. I was noticing a huge change.
One day he started pressurizing me again for the pics and we got into argument again. I told him instead of pics he can directly come see me whenever he wants to and he stopped texting me after that. 3-4 days later I realized, I was rude and so for my peace of mind I just texted him to apologize and left it at that. He apologized too and we stopped. But 2 days later he again started texting me and the texts started increasing per day. He would ask me about my day, but when I asked him questions he wouldn’t share anything about him. For past 2-3 days, he kept on saying how he misses me and loves me and all. I asked why is he being so nice to me and he said ‘why not’. 3 days back I told him we should talk over the phone and he laughed if off. Since past month, even when we texted on and off, I was avoiding sexting with him, but yesterday he kept on contacting me for that. He sent me messages continuously from 12:30am-1:15am and called me once(even though I didn’t reply to anything since I had slept). In morning I told him about me going to sleep early and he was fine until then. We wished good morning as everyday. I was in doubt that he is being nice to me to get sexting out of me, so I gave him a benefit of doubt and I told him that I missed his call last night and if we can talk today evening as I want to hear his voice. This is almost after 2 months I told him about talking over the phone and he ghosted after that.
So all in all, I really don’t know what this was. Why would someone text everyday for 5 months saying they are serious about me and still not take it further. I understand if people change their mind, but he could have told me about it, but instead he kept telling me how much he likes me, misses me and loves me. I spent 5 months with him, but I never got to hear his voice nor so I know if he ever had serious feelings for me nor I saw him in person. All this while I kept telling him that I am serious and I don’t play mind games, so he should let me know if there is anything going on at his end.