(Closed) He had to spend his ring money on car repairs. :(

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry ๐Ÿ™

Post # 3
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

Maybe after this setback he will realize and accept that you’ve said you don’t want to wait any longer and it will work out ๐Ÿ™‚ try to stay postive. These pop up expenses sure do suck.

Post # 4
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Why not make a deal with him and you buy the ring, give it to him, and he can propose? That way you get the ring you want, you don’t have to wait for him to save up more money for a ring, and you get engaged! Sorry that this happened to you but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. You guys can always just get engaged without a ring and just buy one down the road later. I bought my own ring and my Fiance never actually proposed to me, instead we just had a nice long chat and had a mutual agreement. After that I went looking for a ring that I thought was nice and bought it myself! 

Post # 5
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Have you guys considered a cheap stand in ring while he’s saving? If being engaged is so important to you, you could always do ringless or a stand in until enough money is saved to buy the real deal.

Post # 6
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

futuremrsm2889:  This story sounds so familiar. My SO also wants to pay cash for the ring. He always saves up a substantial amount, but then things pop up and he has to dip into his savings. Try talking to him again about the ring and if it is truly necessary for a proposal. If it is, just wait it out! It will happen. 

Post # 7
Member
11574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I get that the ring isn’t important to you, but it is to him too. I just want to caution against rushing and riding over this feeling of pride many men take in the ring buying. It’s my opinion that this is a great trait in a husband and you want to encourage it. It’s much more important that your whole lives be spent with him feeling confident and secure in his choices and behavior than with him feeling like it didn’t matter if he did this thing the right way.

It’s not like an extra year even is the end of the world so long as you are together. I know it’s frustrating and disappointing. I just think you’re making a lifetime investment in a good husband when you encourage the pride they take in doing their part or what they see as their part. 

Post # 9
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I just wanted to acknowledge that OP said she does not care about the ring and just wants to be married. It is her SO who is adamant about the ring, therefore pushing back engagement plans until he can afford it. 

Can people stop acting like OP is materialistic or demanding or whatever? She just wants to be married and doesn’t need a fancy ring – it’s her SO who is insisting on a ring for the engagement. 

Post # 10
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

How about a placeholder ring in the meantime? I got engaged with a $16 ring from Kohl’s…hahaha. I know some girls probably would have hated that, but the sentiment was behind it, so it didn’t matter much to me.

Not to get too personal, but is he opposed to buying a ring on credit? Lots of stores offer credit cards for jewelry (albeit some with crazy high interest rates). Might be worth it if he wants to do something simple and make payments.

Post # 11
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Why don’t you suggest he gets a stand in ring just until he has enough money to save up for a nicer one? 

Post # 12
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

I was going to mention the same thing as angieflux: . There’s a few Jewelers he could get a credit card for and it’ll help towards any future purchases! Like a new car or a home since it’ll be building his credit. Or there’s a lot of stores that sell beautiful cz rings! He could propose with one of those until he can get back on his feet! Men are stubborn. I get that. Just try to keep in mind that he’s trying to be a man by doing it “right” and that is a noble gesture. 

Post # 13
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I understand you are upset. . I’m sorry – it IS a bummer. . .BUT you are only in your mid 20’s!!! You are in grad school . . there is plenty time for rings and being married! Focus on school and everything will fall into place in time!! Hang in there girl!

Post # 15
Member
11001 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Oh, that is terrible luck!  Unexpected car repairs suck!  

It may be worth financing your ring, if he can comfortably manage the payments, since he’s working on building credit.

Normally, I’d say no financing, but this is a special case.

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