He Has Credit Card Problems

posted 12 months ago in Finances
Post # 16
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I also want to know why you would go on vacation together when you know he’s $8,000 in debt?!? 

Post # 17
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

At 39 years of age this is no youthful “mistake” so please stop comparing him to yourself. The lying and the irresponsible behavior would be deal breakers.

Post # 18
Member
5558 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

lola5 :  This. The mindset should be about digging out of the hole and that’s not where his head is at.

Post # 19
Member
912 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

Sansa85 :  I am 100% in agreement with all of this. 

I also made a stupid decision when I was 18, then 21, and kept making them all the way until last year when I decided to straighten shit out. The ONLY thing that snapped me back into gear was knowing that I couldn’t raise a kid the way Fiance and I want to (me staying home/working from home) if I had $10k in credit card debt, $11k in car debt, and $15k in college debt). I wouldn’t bring in enough to make the payments, let alone help with the mortgage/food/utilities/etc. That was my “come to Jesus” moment, and it hit me hard. Your man hasn’t gotten there yet, and if a call from a LAWYER doesn’t do that, you shouldn’t be around to see what will.

Post # 20
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m literally going to copy and paste what I wrote in your “My Boyfriend Says I Smell Bad” post:

“A five* month relationship with this many problems and red flags? No thanks.”

*That post was 2 months ago so I’ll amend it:

“A seven month relationship with this many problems and red flags? No thanks.”

Girl…he is racist, doesn’t want to have sex with you, huge credit problems….WALK AWAY. 

Post # 21
Member
362 posts
Helper bee

Run away.

This sounds like my ex. $20k+ in credit card debt at 34 and he kept insisting he’d start paying it off “when I get my next bonus” or “when I sell my side business”. Guess what…it never got paid off and it just kept increasing. He went on a cruise with the bonus. He bought a boat when he sold the business. He bought a luxury vehicle with god-knows-what money. His credit score was atrocious. 

I would never have been able to marry him. I was raised to be smart with my money and pay off debt as soon as you possibly can. My credit score is great! And no way would I saddle myself to someone with that kind of debt to ruin my financial future. 

Post # 22
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s safe to say he has more than $8,000 in debt. 

Post # 23
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

laureng1 :  Get a free credit report for him (with his consent of course) to have a better idea of the full extent to which he is in debt as well has his payment history. I did this with my husband a year before we were even engaged. If what you see scares you and he is unwilling to commit to a strict budget/re-payment plan, leave him. Or at the very least, do not marry him and get yourself on the hook for his debts. 

My husband had some debt ($6K in credit card debt and $13K in student loans). He paid off his student loans before we married (called and negotiated a settlement offer as he had not made a payment in YEARS). Since the wedding, he’s been attacking his credit card balance. Key word “HE” as my earnings are not going towards helping him pay it down. Not because I can’t but because I want him to feel/be responsible for paying it down. 

Post # 24
Member
14949 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I call bull shit on his ‘story’.  You started dating him when?  And he already had 8k in debt?  But didn’t have the credit card until the beginning of this year?  With in God’s name did he freaking buy in such a short amount of time to have 8k in debt?  And what kind of 39 year old man is that… to put it bluntly.. STUPID about “how credit cards work”.  It’s not rocket science… it’s just irresponsbility.  I’d say he just lives beyond his means, and I doubt this is a new problem and I would definitely have a problem with it.  I either would just walk, or he’d have to hand over all financial control to me cause financial security is very important to me.

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